Thoughts On Hair

I've written this post over and over in my head, but never put it to paper, so to speak.  As time goes on and my hair starts to grow once again, I want to record as much as I can remember about this time of hairlessness.

Losing my hair as a result of chemo was not traumatic, but certainly a bit of a shock. Especially when handfuls of my long locks started falling away from my head. I was shedding more than Roxi!

But this is about more than the hair on my head. Chemo did a number on most of the hair on my body, especially that which I shaved or plucked -- it just ceased to grow.

I really didn't miss shaving my legs and pits, and loved giving the tweezers a rest. No brows or chinny chin chin hairs to rid myself of.

While the summer heat made me feel worse during chemo, it was nice to have smooth, if a bit pasty, chicken legs those times I ventured outside.

Actually, feeling crappy it was nice not to have to invest a lot of time in grooming. Showers were pretty quick. A little spot of shampoo on my scalp, nothing to shave. In and out in no time. And once I was out, I didn't have to deal with drying or styling my hair. 

I saved time and money, though the cash was redirected to headcovers.com,  a site from which I ordered several scarves and hats.

Chemo does different things to different people. I was frightened by the long list of side effects prior to starting, and relieved that, as with most drugs and medications, most don't apply.

Something else that Marc and I both noticed was how very smooth my skin was. Everywhere. My legs, my arms, my back. My elbows, which are always rough and wrinkly. Smooth. Break outs were minimal in the places that are usually problem areas.

Its been almost 2 months since I finished chemo. Besides eating and feeling more like myself, my skin has returned to its normal, and my hair is growing back. Sparse leg hairs, not much to pluck on my brows and chin, and almost a quarter inch of dark and grey on my scalp. I've gone from the soft pink puppy belly, to soft and fuzzy like new growth on a baby's head.

Sometimes, I go bare headed. Always at home, but occasionally, when I'm out. Truthfully, it's just been too cold lately to keep my head uncovered. I actually find the back of my neck even colder, as I'm used to having hair hanging down to keep it warm at this time of year.

Every night as I'm crawling into bed, the thought crosses my mind that I have to let my hair down before I lay down. It's not hanging around my face, so my first thought is that its pulled back. It happens every time. I truly forget that I don't have any hair on my head. Or at least, not much.

I may have mentioned this before, but walking around with no hair on my head draws attention, sympathetic looks, and prompts people to share stories with me. Often stories of their own status as a cancer survivor.

No one would ever wish to be battling cancer, but I must say its been an experience I don't regret. I don't wish it on anyone. But I do cherish the encounters with strangers, and the time and support of friends and family. The health care professionals. The strength and love and courage of everyone. Humankind is good.

Over the Radiation Hump!

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel -- 18 down, 12 to go. Barring any cancelations, I will be done on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.

I'm having to take an hour out of every day, and work around that hour between 10:30 and 11:30 every morning. But that's it. Oh, and remembering not to apply cream or lotion of any kind 4 hours prior, to the target area.

I can eat what I want and it tastes good -- tastes like it should! My head is clear -- no chemo fog. And of course, no nausea!

Now, there is the problem of the hot flashes. Those have lingered and I expect that to continue. I've been doing a bit of research and confirmed that yes, chemo can put you into menopause. It was getting close to that time anyway, I figure! And hot flashes can be worse when chemo is the trigger. I figure I'm somewhat in the middle as far as hot flashes go. I'm painfully aware of them, and they're still waking me several times a night. But my heart rate doesn't change, and I don't think my face gets flushed. (I keep forgetting to check in the mirror when one hits) I read of women who thought they were having a heart attack as their heart rate quickens with each occurence. So while they suck, they could still be worse!

And the kindness of family and friends never stops. I appreciate the kind words, cards, emails and never tire of hearing from everyone.

I was surprised by a package a couple of weeks ago. Marc was away and it was our wedding anniversary week -- he always seems to be away that week. So I thought at first it was from Marc. But upon opening the box, which contained a vase, cut flowers, and chocolates, I discovered it was from Pier, Nate and the bubs. So sweet, so beautiful, and so delicious!

Gorgeous!

Confessing here that no member of my family saw these fancy chocolates. I ate them ALL! And not even all at once. I paced myself and ate one or two a day, so I am guilty of not sharing, and hiding them. From the kids, the dog, and the husband. I'm not proud, but they were oh so good!

The following week, our neighbor Jane, who lives around the corner, surprised me with these. In lovely pink foil and with a pink bow. Beautiful and perfect for the season.

Chapter Next: Radiation

Starts tomorrow. Monday to Friday, for 6 weeks. I'll know more after tomorrow, but I figure it should take less than an hour each day.

Tomorrow and Thursday, my appointment is 8:45 a.m.. Friday forward, I will have a standing appointment at 10:45 a.m. The hospital is about 10 minutes away, especially at that time of day.

The most discussed side effect is fatigue, though it's not clear whether it is caused by the actual radiation, or rather the pace. The schedule. The having to do it every day. That's one theory.

Some people travel greater distances to receive treatment, and that can contribute to the fatigue. Having to fit in that extra time each day can be tough. Since my 'extra' time isn't as great, I'm hoping the fatigue won't be either.

I continue to be buoyed by the love and support of so many wonderful people, family and friends. Here and faraway. Wonderful hugs and kisses and words of encouragement. And cards. Crossing the border from Monique, and crossing township lines from Patti C.

Beautiful flowers from Sue & Jim, celebrating the end of chemo. They've been brightening these past few days, and that lovely ceramic pumpkin they're in will continue to do so for long after.

I'm one lucky girl.

Chemo is DONE!!

As Dr. N said, it was graduation day! Thank goodness!

But there were a few hiccups.

Great weather this time, and we arrived right on time for my 9:45 appointment with the doctor, with chemo scheduled for 10. Now, this was really the only day we had some time restraints. We had to pick Nick up at school at 2:20 to get him to his 3:00 allergy shots appointment (for which we're usually 10 minutes early and taken promptly) and then get Marc home in time to turn around and head for the airport for his night flight to Belgium.

Hiccup # 1: no record of my doctor appointment. The chemo was scheduled, thankfully. But they couldn't find anything about the first appointment. As I was waiting for them to sort it out, which they assured they would, what seemed like a long string of people (not really THAT long, but in this situation it seemed like dozens when it was really 3 or 4 folks!) all coming in for their appointments with Dr. N. Of course they did get it all worked out, pleasantly, as always. Did I mention there seems to be all nice people working there. Only nice people.

So we were set back a bit, putting me in the infusion room, sitting in my comfy recliner, at 10:30 instead of 10. Perhaps I delayed things a bit, but since it was my last chemo, I requested, and was obliged with, a photo of this fabulous doctor and nurse team.

That's Dr. N on the left and Nurse B on the right. My medical oncologist and the breast cancer nurse for all patients at that location. I'll have to check her card and perhaps correct this to a more accurate description. They are as amazing, personable and upbeat as they look. And so professional, compassionate, patient, caring, all of those adjectives and more. I can't say enough how pleasant they have made every visit, every step of this decidedly unpleasant stretch of this journey. Love them.

In the infusion room, I've been in the care of equally adjective-worthy nurses, though never the same one. But they cover each other, so I might start out with a main nurse for the visit, but others step in and cover if she's busy with someone else, or my pump beeps when she's not around. This time, it was Patti, and she was fabulous. And again, so were the others with whom she tag teamed.

My vein, usually fine, appeared to be wearing signs of an old bruise, perhaps even from the last chemo. I hadn't noticed and hadn't felt everything. Because of the removal of lymph nodes and the subsequent risk of lymphodema in my left arm, no blood pressure or vein puncture of any kind is now allowed on that left side. So we're down to the right.

After getting slow to no flow in that vein, a decision was made to search for a new one. Closer to my wrist. Less meaty, a bit painful initially, but once she had it solidly set up, it was good to go. Since nothing started flowing into my veins til 10:50, I anticipated my ETC (estimated time of completion -- my acronym!) to be more like 1:50. Called Marc to tell him, only to have him tell me that he would be stuck on a conference call til 2:00, not leaving to pick me up til then. That stressed me, as I couldn't see getting to the school on time for Nick, which would make us late for the allergy appointment, and might get us back home late, and have Marc leaving late, maybe too late, for the airport. Not good.

In the end it all worked out.

Nick hopped the bus, and we got home 5 minutes before him. Picked him up on the way home from the bus stop, got to the Dr's building right at 3, Marc dropped us off and parked, so we were only a couple of minutes late walking in. Thankfully, as usual they took him right away. Then the obligatory 20 minute wait, they check the 4 injection sites, and we're usually cleared to go. Marc again left to get the car and picked us up at the door, which saved a few minutes once more. We were home by 3:40.

I forgot to mention that between Nick's and Gaby's departures for school this morning, a little elf I suspect to be Julie C left a yummy package of tea biscuits between the doors. So sweet and perfectly timed. I was looking forward to brewing a cup of tea, spreading on some chilled butter, and enjoying a biscuit.

I also forgot to mention that when we got home from the hospital, just before leaving to get Nick, there was another package on our doorstep. A box. From a Philly bakery. And a notecard from Helen. Explaining, among other things, that the box contained an apple crumb pie. And it looked delicious!!

But for the time being, the pie was safely secured on top of the fridge, one of the few Roxi-proof locations in our home, and we had to turn around to get Nick. With Marc's efficient driving, he left himself enough time for a slice of that pie when he got home. Of course Nick's was consumed at a more leisurely pace, though it's pretty much like Father like Son, the speed at which they consume almost anything!

Before Marc left, I checked the mail and found 3 cards addressed to me. From Steph, Gaby's teacher from last year, Pam, and another from Odette and Tony.

Shortly after Marc left, I heard a vehicle stopped outside, and beat Roxi to the door, closed her off from the action, which was a gentlemen walking up the drive with a floral arrangement. From my Mom and Dad, and my sister's family. Celebrating the end of my chemo, 2400 km away.

I tried calling my Mom but got her voicemail. I was so choked up I couldn't leave a proper message, and gave the impression that I was upset. Which I wasn't. Just ovewhelmed again.

This was yesterday. Along with loving emails from Pier and A. Judy, and Linda. Lots of supportive messages on FB. Another delicious meal from Nina, though I didn't have my camera this time! A promise of tomorrow's meal from Melissa.

And now, lots of plans for coffee, tea, playdates, in the near future. And I can't wait.

Right now, what I'm really working towards is two more good days like this. My friend Tracey, with whom I worked with for 10 years I'd say, will be in Parsippany NJ for the weekend, joining her husband who has been there this past week and next. When she found out she was going to be there for a longish weekend, she wrote and proposed we get together on Friday. I was crushed. Knowing how bad I had previously felt in those first few days after chemo, I had my doubts that we would see each other.

Now, Tracey moved to TX in 99, two years after we moved to PA. I really don't recall seeing her in Winnipeg once she moved (too cold to go back at Christmas, eh Trac?!)  Two years ago, we reunited with our potluck friends here, for our Six in the City and Wine Tasting Adventure weekend. It was fabulous, but I haven't seen her since. She, the giver of the beautiful blue scarf I've been wearing, would be the perfect person to see right now.

That's my plan, my hope. A real life hug from Tracey on Friday. I'll let you know how that turns out!

Gaby, my supportive caregiver and sidekick in all of this, took  my 4th and final photo in front of her beautiful poster.

Fourth. Final. DONE!! Yahoo!!!

I will carefully remove that poster soon, and preserve that lovely portrait in the scrapbook I plan to put together. I'm stuck on the title 'When you have cancer . . .'   I figure it's a good one to run with.

I've been collecting papers, bits, cards, photos, emails, you name it, to include. Got the book, the paper, just gotta get going. Soon.

And I've got to get back to my journal, a gift from Lynn, that I've been using to record notes, memories, events, gifts. PKay sent another card recently, as did Dave and Deb. Missy made sure Gaby got to soccer practice tonight and Coach got her home. Carole's assured us she'll get Gaby to the ice cream social at her school tomorrow night. They don't want to miss that, and I just might have to this year.

I don't want to forget all of the goodness. I've saved all of the emails to print. I could do the same with all of the FB messages. All for that scrapbook I've just got to get started on.

In the meantime, opportunities like these continue to present themselves.

Snapped this picture mid-morning. More goodies in the door.

Homemade cinnamon buns, a lovely card and even the newspaper between the door, from dear Nary.

(In keeping with my effort to maintain this 'good feeling' I'll save the details of this day after, for another post and make sure I get some sleep. After drinking as much more water as I can!)

XO

Chemo #3 is DONE!

A distant memory, and none too pleasant. Actually, the process itself isn't that bad, but that foggy, nauseous, hit by a truck feeling sucks.

(The only hair I have left, on Gab's beautiful poster!)

Truthfully, this time 'round, I felt surprisingly good on Wednesday and Thursday mornings. I thought it might be because I as soon as I woke, I raced downstairs to pop my Emend for the day. That's the anti-nausea medicine I take day of and the two days following.  I read that it is more effective if taken before the nausea actually strikes. But those two mornings I also felt a bit more clear headed than the previous cycles, and I don't think the Emend does that.

I'd like to attribute it to the extra TLC from my Mom and Dad -- what else could it be?!

Even felt good enough to hit DQ on Thursday for blizzards.

Blizzards all around and a regular banana split for Grandpa.

Banana split blizzard with vanilla ice cream for me. I could eat these, craved them actually, through the first half of my pregnancy with Gaby. I'm so glad Nick reminded me of this, cuz we've made the trip to DQ after every round of chemo, in those first few days when little else in the way of food holds any appeal for me. And they've always been both filling and yummy.

Me and my Daddy!

But man, or should I say woman, cannot live on Blizzards alone, so eventually, I revert to my second chemo food of choice, which I also ate for a short time during my second pregnancy and haven't eaten again since. Until now.

Hamburger Helper. Beef Noodle. Only. Can't even think about trying any other varieties. And of course a cucumber salad, which is just sliced cukes dressed in sour cream and white wine vinegar, seasoned salt and pepper. The cucumber salad I could eat anytime. The hamburger helper, not so much. As I said, haven't had it in almost 10 years and don't imagine eating again once chemo is done! We'll see.

The other indulgence I've allowed myself is bottled water. Chilled in the downstairs fridge. I usually do not drink bottled water. Our fridge filters water just fine and I fill up my cool Kal LoveLife water bottle, keeping it in the fridge full time. But with the altered taste of just about everything I put it my mouth, I realized that I had a better chance of drinking more water by going bottled. Even IT doesn't taste great the first 2 or 3 days after chemo, but for me, it's the best tasting liquid at that time.

A case of 32 is $4 at Sam's and I do recycle all of the bottles. I DO intend to revert back to my old ways once chemo is done. But for now, this is how I do it.

And that's also a Zofran on the tray, another anti-nausea medicine I supplement the Emend with. The Emend seems to be very effective, but doesn't last the day. And I only have it for Tue/Wed/Thur and find I need to deal with nausea longer than that.

Besides the added bonus of my Mom and Dad being here to cheer me and take care of us, there is always the kindness and generosity of friends and family.

Amy brought over these beautiful flowers from her garden, as well as some equally beautifully arranged herbs, some veggies and some eggs from her chickens. The veggieswere yummy grilled! I added some mushrooms and onions as well as the zucchini Kathy brought over from her garden a couple of weeks ago and we had them for dinner when I was able to enjoy them (Monday)

Julie left tea biscuits in the door. Something else I feel like eating.

Cards from near and far. Janine, Jackie at the golf course, A. Verna and Andrea and Don. A collection of headcoverings and hats from Mary Ellen. Beautiful and appreciated.

Emails, IM's, voice messages, you name it. I would love to take more time to answer all of these beautiful sentiments that come my way. Like Peg and Jennell, who left messages on my cell phone, which I'm VERY BAD at listening to. I just heard them YESTERDAY, and I think they were a week or two old! Sorry ladies. And Heidi, I'm sure you found the information you were looking for elsewhere, as I just heard your message yesterday too! Sorry.

I feel I'm truly on the home stretch now. In two weeks, I'll feel crappy again. But it will be the last time that chemo will make me feel that way. And I'm thinking, because it's the LAST time, maybe that will perk me up and get me through it. We'll see.

Chemo - 2 down, 2 to go: Resurfacing

Second round of chemo was this past Tuesday. Its now Sunday and I'm still feeling fuzzy, nauseous, blah.
Worse than the last time? Perhaps.
But we're certainly as well taken care of as last time!

Nina delivered dinner on Monday: brisket and kugel. We enjoyed it Tuesday and Wednesday, and I had some myself on Tuesday.

Gaby spent Tuesday at Ashton's, Wednesday with Sarah's family, slept at Claire's Wednesday, slept at Ashon's Thursday, was back with Claire's family Friday and Saturday afternoons. Nick, more self sufficient, was back and forth with friends.

Liz delivered a yummy taco dinner on Thursday which also served us for two dinners.

I must stress that even though I don't feel like eating much, I'm thankful that my family is well fed. I don't feel much like cooking either, and if left to their own devices, my children would be eating too many hot pockets and bowls of ramen.

The chemo itself was routine. No surprises, same as last time. Getting an on time start meant that I was actually home around 1:00 on Tuesday. I did take it easy, but more because I was tired from having gotten only 1 hour of sleep the night before. Next time, I'll take something to aid with sleep, as the steroids I'm required to take keep me awake.

I posed with Gaby's sign when I returned home from round 2. She had modified the sign last week, with a portrait she had done, using my REAL HAIR. Pretty cool, isn't it?! And this is my new look. I wore Trac's scarf and Liz's earrings for my second round of chemo. Quite fashionable, don't you think?!

The EMEND that I was prescribed for nausea didn't seem to be that much more effective than what I was given last time. But perhaps the nausea was actually worse this time and would have been unbearable without it. Don't know. This is supposed to be the heavy duty stuff, the big guns. Last time, I felt nauseous for several days following chemo and there wasn't much in the way of food, that I found appealing. I stuck to several foods that I recalled eating during my pregnancy, especially with Gaby. A week after the chemo my appetite started to return, though some foods continued to hold little appeal.

I guess I was expecting it not to be as bad this time, so I'm disappointed. But as I said, who's to say that it wouldn't have been even worse without the Emend. Two theories that were explained to me about chemo: one, that your body gets used to it and each treatment isn't as rough as the previous. I like that one and was hoping for that scenario. But,  perhaps the second theory applies to me: the effects from the chemo are cumulative. It's in my system and with each subsequent treatment I'll feel worse. If that's the case, I'm glad I'm only facing two more treatments!

I was determined to get through this one 'faster' than the last. I've read and been told to drink a lot in the first few days after chemo, to flush out the bad stuff. I stocked up on just plain bottled water for round two. The first time, I tried iced tea, which I love, and from there went to water with just lime or lemon. Ginger ale wasn't bad, but I couldn't drink an entire glass unless I was eating. But I was sure that plain, cold, bottled water would go down well and be just the trick to flush away the bad.

What I've discovered is that even plain cold bottled water has a funny taste after chemo. I tried, but I don't think I drank more than 4  1/2 l bottles on Wednesday, and not sure if I even got to 4 on Thursday. So that could be part of the reason why I felt crappy for several days after.

I took the Emend on Wednesday and Thursday as directed, and supplemented with another anti-nausea medicine that I had taken the last time. Again, I just have to believe that I would feel even worse if I didn't have these.

Also had to take the steroids the day after, which meant also taking Pepcid, since the steroids give me heartburn. Oh, and since the steroids can also keep me awake, it's OK to take something to sleep that first day/night after. It's kind of comical, the meds, and the side effects and the meds for the side effects. I just have to keep telling myself two more times. Radiation will probably be a walk in the park after this!

Gave myself my neulasta shot on Wednesday.  All by myself. I took some photos with the timer, but I don't see the point of sharing my fat belly roll with me plunging a needle into it! It's actually a bit out of focus, and certainly not terribly flattering. I can share some of my bald shots if I really want to freak people out!

As always, calls, emails, IM's, cards keep me going. Words of encouragement and offers of help continue to come our way and I'm so thankful. A. Judy, Maureen and Cathy added cards to the collection on the mantle and there's no longer room for all of them any more.

(If you look closely you can catch a glimpse of my pale bald dome!)

Yesterday, I was reading the Parade magazine that comes with the weekend paper, and there was an exerpt from a book by Susan G. Komen's sister Nancy Brinker Promise Me   It moved me to tears, not surprising, given my situtation. But it made me think about how fortunate I am to be fighting this fight at this time. What Susan Komen had to endure seems unbearable. She and her sister were and are, the true face of courage. This book comes out September 14th, my last scheduled chemo. I'll have to get myself a copy.

Great Days

Have happened pretty much every day since my diagnosis. It really doesn't take much to make a day great. Those especially crappy days, like a day of surgery, tests, and now, chemo, can quickly be turned around in a thousand different ways.

Since my chemo started, Gaby asks pretty much every morning, how I'm doing, feeling, how I slept. A lovely way to start a day.

Since sharing the news of my diagnosis and this journey, not a day goes by where I don't receive some sort of message, not so random act of kindness, love. Meals, books, cards, phone calls and electronic messaging via email, text, IM, blog comments. All great.

Yesterday was a banner day. I received an email from my cousin Peggy. We just haven't kept in touch over the years and keep up on each other's goings on through our parents. But yesterday she wrote, sharing words of encouragement and support not only from herself, but from her parents and siblings too.

She also shared a quote:

Instead of asking, "Why am I having to deal with all of this? ask yourself what you most need to learn from your experiences. View the situation much like the butterfly must see its cocoon....as a barrier you must break through to become the extraordinary creature you were designed to be."     ~Betty Mahalik~

Put a smile on my face and warmed my heart.

But that wasn't my one for the day. Yesterday brought the averages up!

I grabbed the mail on the way to drive Nick to his guitar lesson. It was fat and squishy, which can mean a package, which is always fun. Not one to wait, I was driving and opening. It was from TX, my friend Tracey, and I knew before I opened it that it was a scarf. A beautiful scarf. With a beautiful card in which she wrote that she knew I wasn't going to need it, but just in case . . .

Pretty, isn't it?

Turns out I missed some of the mail, which I noticed on my way back into the house. Two more cards. Both from Canada. More words of love and support from my friend Brenda, and a card from my Aunt Joanne, sending love and good wishes from the entire family. I hit the trifecta in yesterday's mail, let me tell you! Or perhaps I should consider it a hat trick! Either way, it was lovely!

Then last night, there was  knock at the door, early evening. A neighbor, Mrs. R, whom I wave to more than talk to just because of distance, was at the door, to give me a hug and good wishes, as she'd just heard my news. She herself had gone something similar in February, unbeknownst to me, and she's doing very well. She lost her husband several years ago and has remained vibrant and independent; where I see her most is in her yard and gardens. Fit and positive, it was a delight to receive a visit from her.

Under the heading of great days, I should also mention last Thursday.

Gaby's friend had slept over the night before, and just as they were getting ready to head off to their morning at Robbins Park, there was a knock at the door. Julie and her Dad Steve, from across the street, were delivering dinner all the way from Delaware. They're my friend Elise's family (part of the family) and Elise had told me a couple of days earlier that they'd be coming in from their summer place, with a meal.

In the bit of commotion that resulted from them coming and the kids getting ready to go, I forgot to snap a photo. I'm sure Julie was relieved anyway.

Delicious pasta with chicken and mushrooms, salad, rolls, and a blueberry cake/streusel that Nick practically inhaled. Yummo!

After camp, Nary invited us for lunch. It was just Gaby and me. Nary made quesadillas and chicken for the kids and these scruptious noodles for us.

 

Good without hot sauce and even better with. But I don't keep up with Nary when it comes to hot sauce. She grew up eating it like I did ketchup.

We spent most of the afternoon there, Gaby and Nary's daughter playing monopoly for about 3 hours. They played one quick game and then started a second which still wasn't over when it was time to go home. Intense.

My Aunt Judy sends regular emails and I came home to one of her encouraging and uplifting emails. Subject lines like: "I'm Proud of You" warm my heart.

A relaxing day for me. The only food I prepared was scrambled eggs for breakfast. And of course, warming Elise's pasta. Easy day in the kitchen and yummy for my tummy.

Kindness and Flowers

I am repeatedly overwhelmed by the reaching out, the love and support offered by everyone. My friend Heidi did the Susan G Komen walk on Mother's Day and picked up a book for me, Finding the "CAN" in Cancer  As the foreward states, it's a pragmatic and practical handbook on dealing with the details of cancer treatment; a book with helpful and inspirational vignettes; and most of all, a story of friends. It states that battling cancer with an optimistic and upbeat attitude is a challenging task and that it helps to have friends. While it also states that it's even more helpful to have friends who know what you are up against, I'm thankful to have friends of both varieties, those who know and those who don't. I'm thankful to each and every one of them, friends and family alike. Thanks Heidi!

Kindness and support comes when you don't expect it. Not that I'm surprised. Our dentist and his staff are all warm and wonderful people and we've been with them since moving to PA 13 years ago. Debbie, our dentist's wife, and Kelly, are the receptionist/hygenist/office support folks. We love them all and Gaby especially extolls their virtues. She's had 3 teeth filled on three separate occasions, and was so comforted by Kelly holding her hand that first time, getting her through the unknown. The third filling was last week, and Debbie gave Gaby a sweater to wear, as the AC had made the place a bit frosty, but was necessary with the 100+ temps of the week.

And two weeks ago, when Gaby went for x-rays and had that third cavity diagnosed, Debbie surprised me with flowers.

(she's not going to like me posting the picture here -- she only agreed to being photographed with Gaby!)

But I want to share the picture here. Aren't they beautiful?! I was so touched.

Marc had been  there a couple of weeks earlier, and told them of my diagnosis and upcoming treatments. Debbie also left a phone message for me that day, offering her prayers and support. That touched my heart also.

I'm very good at remaining composed when discussing my breast cancer. My prognosis is excellent, so all's good. But I still get choked up when I talk about how thankful I am that I'm not going it alone. How wonderful it is to have so many people reaching out in so many ways. And that's how I felt when Debbie gave me the flowers. Choked up. So very appreciative. So very lucky.

Their beauty warmed our home for a week, but the warmth and kindness behind them will last a lot longer.

My Potluck Friends

That's what we call ourselves. We've been friends for over 20 years, brought together by a common employer, common position. Our first dinner wasn't a potluck, just dinner out. We decided that we'd like to keep getting together for dinner, but thought it would be more fun to take turns hosting potlucks in our homes. 

I think we're all pretty good cooks and have gotten better throughout the years, with the challenge of one upping each other's fabulous recipes. Many of my PA friends know my Chorizo Corn Chowder, a favourite I bring to soup suppers or any other gathering where soup's appropriate. That's a Bonnie recipe. Everyone BUT my family loves it. I make whole pots, double the recipe, and freeze it in single servings for me!

We thought we should put a cook book together, for ourselves. We're good at emailing recipes to each other after a get together, but the book has fallen by the wayside.

I left Winnipeg 13 years ago for PA, Tracey, 11 years ago, heading south to TX. But whenever one of us makes it back to the Peg, we get together. And two years ago, we finally took to the road. The girls all traveled here and we visited NYC, among other places. We talk about doing it again and I'm sure we will one day. We such a FABULOUS long weekend together, got along so well, and made many treasured memories.

That's the last time I saw Trac, as our times in Winnipeg don't usually coincide. So I knew not to expect to see her in Winnipeg last month. But I was so pleased when Bonz, Brenda, Monique and Patti worked  to arrange their schedule around our short 4 1/2 days there, so that we could get together. Taking either 1/2 or a full day off, we met at Monique's Friday morning for brunch. In the end Patti couldn't make it, as she was heading to Wisconsin for the weekend. Funny enough, Monique was heading out at noon for MN.

Rather than completely repeat myself,  you can read about my Friday morning in Winnipeg on my other blog. But I did want to repeat the fact that these girls, in Winnipeg and TX, along with my sister, arranged, through my friend here, Elise, for housecleaning, the first of which was while we were in Winnipeg. What a pleasure to come home to a clean and dust/dust bunny free place! And there are more cleanings in my future, to be scheduled at my convenience.

They also presented me with a beautiful necklace, 'Faith', which I've been wearing 'faithfully', since I received it. It's a reminder to stay strong, and a reminder of the love and support I have. I'm so blessed.

Did I mention that they're great cooks too?!

Can't wait to see you girls again. Love you all, Brenda, Monique, Bonnie, Patti and Tracey.

Flowers. For me

Overwhelmed. Again.

I should have devoted a post to the day before surgery, but didn't. It was another busy Monday. But full of wonderful surprises.

I knew Pastor Kay was coming over to sit with me the day before surgery. To talk. To offer communion and prayers. So when there was a knock at the door around the time I was expecting PKay, I was suprised and delighted to see my old friend Lynn at the door.

One of my first and greatest friends here in PA, we have lost touch over the recent years. Our childrens' activities take us in different directions, as has as life. Lynn worked full time and went back to school to become a nurse. She did, maintaining a crazy schedule for years, and graduating a year ago. We finally met for lunch last summer and thought we'd get together more regularly after that. And as so often happens, it didn't happen. But Lynn was back in the loop for book club, so there were more opportunities to see her. Still not regularly enough to have shared my news face to face. She received the email I sent to local and faraway friends. On the advice of her husband, who reminded her I was telling Nick and Gaby over the weekend, she waited til Monday to come over, bearing gifts, love and support. An uplifting music CD, a beautiful journal, and a card bearing a warm and encouraging message. I was touched and just so very happy to see her. And bummed because I knew our visit couldn't be as long as I would have liked. We enjoyed the few minutes we had, and she departed once PKay arrived.

PKay also arrived bearing gifts. A beautiful blue prayer shawl, made by the ladies of the Lamb Circle, at our church. Again I was touched. The goodness of people and their eagerness to reach out and help is awesome. Inspiring. Welcome.

PKay spent over an hour with me. We talked. Got off topic, as we often do. She offered prayers and shared communion.

My pastor is the mother of a soon to be sophomore boy, just like me. With that in common, I think of her probably as a friend first. And while I guess your pastor should be your friend, I sometimes forget that she's also my pastor. I just didn't have the same dilemma growing up in the Catholic church!

Friend and pastor, she's wonderful in both roles, and a blessing to me.

Since I titled this post Flowers, I should mention them.

The day after surgery, I received a delivery. A beautiful arrangement from Marc's office. Over those next few days, a lovely basket of flowers from the Godoskis, all. A box of beautiful cut flowers from my Mom and Dad, sister and her family. Also left on my doorstep was a vase of spring pinks, from my Godmother.  All far far away in Winnipeg, but close in my heart.

Cindy brought these sunflowers over on Sunday. Bright and sunny.

An edible assortment from Joanne, who works with Marc.

Cards bearing heartfelt notes and well wishes came in the mail. My friend Peg gave me an inspirational book when she and Sandi made the trip my way, for coffee. Elizabeth left a mysterious bag bearing witch hazel and lavender. Something we had discussed. 

While still facing uncertainly in terms of treatment at that point, I was certainly distracted from giving it too much thought. In an absolutely wonderful way. Wow.

Your friends certainly make sure you eat GOOD when you have cancer!

It all started the week after receiving my diagnosis. I got the news on a Friday and was fortunate to have an 8:30 appointment with my surgical oncologist the following Monday.  It was a busy day, as Mondays had evolved into this spring. I had an appointment to take Roxi to the vet at 10:30, Gaby had early dismissal from which I was thinking of picking her up, in order to get her to a hair appointment with Annmarie. That was for 2:00. We had to make sure not to dilly dally too much, as Nick had his 3:45 guitar lesson, after which we had to gobble dinner and get Gaby to her 6:00 soccer practice.

With the emotional newness of my diagnosis, I was quickly moved to tears upon listening to Elise's phone message while waiting in the doctor's office. She said she knew I had a busy day, a lot on my plate, and would I let her bring dinner over. I was touched and very receptive to the idea, though the thought did cross my mind that Nick and Gaby might get suspicious. Remember, they knew nothing at this point.

Well, my worries were all for naught. When I answered their usual question "What's for dinner?" with "I'm not sure. Mrs. Seyfried's bringing dinner over to us tonight" no one batted an eye.

She and Julie brought over a huge pan of chicken enchilladas, salad and triple chocolate mocha cookies. Everything was yummy and lasted for another 2 meals. I had thought about freezing some of it, but before I could give it another thought, everything was gone.

Surgery was scheduled for another 3 weeks down the road, and I agreed to further offers of meals during that time. After Marc's scrumptious lasagna on the day of my surgery, of which there exist no photos, Nary brought over Chinese noodles and a beef and beans dish. Another winner, and so good that Gaby ate the noodles cold for lunch, at school, for the rest of the week.

Elise had called to ask if I was ready for Peace meals, those prepared by our church members. I said I would love one and Thursday would work well for us. I got suspicious when she called to confirm the time SHE should bring it over. Now I must mention that Elise is a fabulous cook and baker, and I would love to eat meals prepared by her every day. But I didn't want her to go to all that trouble again.

But she did.

Pretzel chicken over polenta served with cheese sauce a la Rachael Ray. Sensational! Oh and of course a love salad and chocolatey frosted cake for dessert. The name escapes me but I enjoyed it for a few more days after all of the chicken was gone.

We were generously provided with meals for three days, which served us into the weekend.

And it started again on the following Monday. I was shuttling Gaby to soccer practice, so I missed my dear friend Kathy's delivery, but I certainly enjoyed it!

She had mentioned she was going to bring this tortilla soup which sounded yummy. And it was! With grated cheese, avocado and sour cream for garnish, and home made tortilla strips to go with it. That was a bowl in a meal. But she had also brought chicken enchilladas and corn on the cob. And a pitcher of real margaritas for the grown ups!

We didn't even touch the enchillas or corn, so it worked out very well that Lisa brought over a pasta casserole the next morning, ready for freezing.

A riccotta pasta casserole, ready for either oven or freezer. This one went south, with much appreciation. So did the Texas toast that accompanied it. Of course we couldn't freeze the salad, and the chocolate covered pretzels didn't need to go there either.

The casserole didn't stay frozen long though. The following week we were readying for our trip to Canada, and it served as dinner both Monday and Tuesday. And it was delicious.

Wednesday saw Elizabeth appear at our door bearing gifts in a giant princess bag.

Seasoned chicken breasts, brown rice and a yummy green salad. Perfect. And ample! I was eating dinners for lunches and there was still leftovers. I was also nibbling on the cold rice whenever I'd open the fridge -- can't resist!

So when Carole brought over Thursday's meal of roast beef, baked potatoes and another beautiful salad, we were running out of room in the fridge! The kids love roast beef sandwiches, and we probably used more of the potatoes fried up over the next few days. The salad, once we finished Elizabeth's, lasted into the weekend.

They had come over early so the girls could play for awhile and I let them leave without getting a picture of Carole and the food. Still got the food though! That's actually Elizabeth's salad from the day before.

Once again the meals took us into the weekend. Marc and I actually dined in NYC that Saturday night, and we all ate at the golf course on the Sunday. (one of those food minimum/end of the month things). So that was two weeks of minimal cooking for me. Which meant quick runs to the grocery store for not much more than milk and fruit. With Lisa's casserole covering those last two meals before we left for Canada, I had had a pretty easy time in the kitchen.

In Canada, meals were prepared for us. Between different family members, the wedding of course, and dining out, another week passed without me really lifting a untensil.

Spoiled? Yeah, I think so. But ever so grateful.