Goodness. Kindness.

Continues.

A beautiful flower arrangment, from the Pelletiers, in Winnipeg. Brightness and cheer for almost 2 weeks.

Yummy chicken, broccoli and mashed potato dinner from Melissa, with home made rice pudding for dessert. Perfect for my tummy two days after chemo.

Spaghetti bolonese, an exotic salad and crusty Italian bread from Pam. We enjoyed this last week and it was perfect on a day where we had to run out again shortly after the bus.

Julie, caught in the act of delivering tea biscuits on an Sunday afternoon. Gaby just happened to have my camera in her hands as Julie arrived, and she snapped this photo! I'm glad she did, because the last couple of times Julie delivered tea biscuits, she managed to sneak them on our doorstep unnoticed, early on a weekday, on her way to work. Got you this time Julie!

Pumpkin chocolate chip cookies from Elise, left with Gaby last Sunday while I was driving Marc to the airport. Still feeling crummy last Sunday, I had decided it would be best to skip out the first day of Sunday school. Not sure if the other teachers had anything planned for the craft, I decided to just pop in and drop off big heart shapes and a bag of stickers, for first day name tags. They did have something prepared. On the way out, I ran into several people, including Elise. Feeling the need to explain both my appearance, and the direction I was headed, I let them know I was on my way home to nurse my head cold.  Elise obviously picked up on that. Those cookies have been great with the many cups of tea I've had of late.

Goodness. Kindness. Blessings.

 

Chemo is DONE!!

As Dr. N said, it was graduation day! Thank goodness!

But there were a few hiccups.

Great weather this time, and we arrived right on time for my 9:45 appointment with the doctor, with chemo scheduled for 10. Now, this was really the only day we had some time restraints. We had to pick Nick up at school at 2:20 to get him to his 3:00 allergy shots appointment (for which we're usually 10 minutes early and taken promptly) and then get Marc home in time to turn around and head for the airport for his night flight to Belgium.

Hiccup # 1: no record of my doctor appointment. The chemo was scheduled, thankfully. But they couldn't find anything about the first appointment. As I was waiting for them to sort it out, which they assured they would, what seemed like a long string of people (not really THAT long, but in this situation it seemed like dozens when it was really 3 or 4 folks!) all coming in for their appointments with Dr. N. Of course they did get it all worked out, pleasantly, as always. Did I mention there seems to be all nice people working there. Only nice people.

So we were set back a bit, putting me in the infusion room, sitting in my comfy recliner, at 10:30 instead of 10. Perhaps I delayed things a bit, but since it was my last chemo, I requested, and was obliged with, a photo of this fabulous doctor and nurse team.

That's Dr. N on the left and Nurse B on the right. My medical oncologist and the breast cancer nurse for all patients at that location. I'll have to check her card and perhaps correct this to a more accurate description. They are as amazing, personable and upbeat as they look. And so professional, compassionate, patient, caring, all of those adjectives and more. I can't say enough how pleasant they have made every visit, every step of this decidedly unpleasant stretch of this journey. Love them.

In the infusion room, I've been in the care of equally adjective-worthy nurses, though never the same one. But they cover each other, so I might start out with a main nurse for the visit, but others step in and cover if she's busy with someone else, or my pump beeps when she's not around. This time, it was Patti, and she was fabulous. And again, so were the others with whom she tag teamed.

My vein, usually fine, appeared to be wearing signs of an old bruise, perhaps even from the last chemo. I hadn't noticed and hadn't felt everything. Because of the removal of lymph nodes and the subsequent risk of lymphodema in my left arm, no blood pressure or vein puncture of any kind is now allowed on that left side. So we're down to the right.

After getting slow to no flow in that vein, a decision was made to search for a new one. Closer to my wrist. Less meaty, a bit painful initially, but once she had it solidly set up, it was good to go. Since nothing started flowing into my veins til 10:50, I anticipated my ETC (estimated time of completion -- my acronym!) to be more like 1:50. Called Marc to tell him, only to have him tell me that he would be stuck on a conference call til 2:00, not leaving to pick me up til then. That stressed me, as I couldn't see getting to the school on time for Nick, which would make us late for the allergy appointment, and might get us back home late, and have Marc leaving late, maybe too late, for the airport. Not good.

In the end it all worked out.

Nick hopped the bus, and we got home 5 minutes before him. Picked him up on the way home from the bus stop, got to the Dr's building right at 3, Marc dropped us off and parked, so we were only a couple of minutes late walking in. Thankfully, as usual they took him right away. Then the obligatory 20 minute wait, they check the 4 injection sites, and we're usually cleared to go. Marc again left to get the car and picked us up at the door, which saved a few minutes once more. We were home by 3:40.

I forgot to mention that between Nick's and Gaby's departures for school this morning, a little elf I suspect to be Julie C left a yummy package of tea biscuits between the doors. So sweet and perfectly timed. I was looking forward to brewing a cup of tea, spreading on some chilled butter, and enjoying a biscuit.

I also forgot to mention that when we got home from the hospital, just before leaving to get Nick, there was another package on our doorstep. A box. From a Philly bakery. And a notecard from Helen. Explaining, among other things, that the box contained an apple crumb pie. And it looked delicious!!

But for the time being, the pie was safely secured on top of the fridge, one of the few Roxi-proof locations in our home, and we had to turn around to get Nick. With Marc's efficient driving, he left himself enough time for a slice of that pie when he got home. Of course Nick's was consumed at a more leisurely pace, though it's pretty much like Father like Son, the speed at which they consume almost anything!

Before Marc left, I checked the mail and found 3 cards addressed to me. From Steph, Gaby's teacher from last year, Pam, and another from Odette and Tony.

Shortly after Marc left, I heard a vehicle stopped outside, and beat Roxi to the door, closed her off from the action, which was a gentlemen walking up the drive with a floral arrangement. From my Mom and Dad, and my sister's family. Celebrating the end of my chemo, 2400 km away.

I tried calling my Mom but got her voicemail. I was so choked up I couldn't leave a proper message, and gave the impression that I was upset. Which I wasn't. Just ovewhelmed again.

This was yesterday. Along with loving emails from Pier and A. Judy, and Linda. Lots of supportive messages on FB. Another delicious meal from Nina, though I didn't have my camera this time! A promise of tomorrow's meal from Melissa.

And now, lots of plans for coffee, tea, playdates, in the near future. And I can't wait.

Right now, what I'm really working towards is two more good days like this. My friend Tracey, with whom I worked with for 10 years I'd say, will be in Parsippany NJ for the weekend, joining her husband who has been there this past week and next. When she found out she was going to be there for a longish weekend, she wrote and proposed we get together on Friday. I was crushed. Knowing how bad I had previously felt in those first few days after chemo, I had my doubts that we would see each other.

Now, Tracey moved to TX in 99, two years after we moved to PA. I really don't recall seeing her in Winnipeg once she moved (too cold to go back at Christmas, eh Trac?!)  Two years ago, we reunited with our potluck friends here, for our Six in the City and Wine Tasting Adventure weekend. It was fabulous, but I haven't seen her since. She, the giver of the beautiful blue scarf I've been wearing, would be the perfect person to see right now.

That's my plan, my hope. A real life hug from Tracey on Friday. I'll let you know how that turns out!

Gaby, my supportive caregiver and sidekick in all of this, took  my 4th and final photo in front of her beautiful poster.

Fourth. Final. DONE!! Yahoo!!!

I will carefully remove that poster soon, and preserve that lovely portrait in the scrapbook I plan to put together. I'm stuck on the title 'When you have cancer . . .'   I figure it's a good one to run with.

I've been collecting papers, bits, cards, photos, emails, you name it, to include. Got the book, the paper, just gotta get going. Soon.

And I've got to get back to my journal, a gift from Lynn, that I've been using to record notes, memories, events, gifts. PKay sent another card recently, as did Dave and Deb. Missy made sure Gaby got to soccer practice tonight and Coach got her home. Carole's assured us she'll get Gaby to the ice cream social at her school tomorrow night. They don't want to miss that, and I just might have to this year.

I don't want to forget all of the goodness. I've saved all of the emails to print. I could do the same with all of the FB messages. All for that scrapbook I've just got to get started on.

In the meantime, opportunities like these continue to present themselves.

Snapped this picture mid-morning. More goodies in the door.

Homemade cinnamon buns, a lovely card and even the newspaper between the door, from dear Nary.

(In keeping with my effort to maintain this 'good feeling' I'll save the details of this day after, for another post and make sure I get some sleep. After drinking as much more water as I can!)

XO

Catching Up & Cared For

I've come to the conclusion that the middle week of my chemo cycle is the best. I think I'm so thrilled to be coming out of the fog that even the bone pain can't get me down. Slow me down, yes, but not get me down. I remind myself that the neulasta is doing it's job, regenerating those white blood cells and hopefully keeping more bad stuff at bay.

However, the bone pain did drag out a bit more this time. The ibuprofen did make it bearable, but it was around for 2 or 3 days. I made it to the mall for my morning walk with Robin and Heidi on Monday, but that was it for the week. I had a lousy sleep Monday night with a middle of the night hot tubby (yeah, bone pain) so caught up on my sleep instead of walking. Wednesday we decided to take in the free morning movie at the Regal with the B's, so that was my excuse for not walking, and Thursday we were packing for our overnight to Rehoboth. That was a lame excuse, I know!

We drove to Rehoboth for an overnight with several people from our church. Elise and her family have spent summers there for forever, and they were our hosts. Two vehicles and a total of 9 of us joined them for a night and beach day, which didn't meet expectations due to the rain. Yeah, the rain that started up again as we were loading the car to leave, and hit yet again, with full force, after our pizza dinner on the boardwalk. Just bad timing and a prelude to more adventures on Friday the 13th. It was still a lot of fun and gave us some great stories to tell!

Marc was in India last week and had arrived home by the time we got back Friday night. Both of us noticed upon waking Saturday that our eyes were kind of gunked up. We attributed it to the open windows and possible pollen or some other sort of allergens, though neither of us are prone to seasonal allergies. Mine continued and seemed to get worse, so today, I visited my doctor, to determine whether or not it might be pink eye. Just what I need right now!

After walking with Robin this morning (4 for 4 this week) I called my doctor's office and they offered a 10:00 appointment. It was already 9:15, so I raced home, showered, dressed and headed back out the door. A benefit of no hair on my head and super slow growth on my legs and pits is how very fast I can shower and be ready. Add to this the fact that I'm wearing no eye make up because of the constant tearing and gunk (no itching or swelling I might add!) and I had no problem getting to the doctor's office on time.

He wasn't 100% sure that it was pink eye, pretty much eliminated allergies, and gave me a prescription for antibiotic drops, which I'm administering every 4 hours. I've only done it 3 times so far, and haven't noticed a difference yet. It should take at least a day, I've been told, and I must continue the drops for 5 days.

Now Marc's eyes aren't bothering him anymore, so we're not sure what that means. Is my immune system in its somewhat compromised state unable to fight this off on its own? Dunno. We'll see what the drops do.

This week has been mostly about cleaning Gab's room and readying for this weekend's yard sale that she and her friend Claire are holding at Claire's house. That and yard work, birthday parties, build & grow at Lowes, big concert for Nick, and catching up with friends we hadn't seen much of this summer.

And being cared for. In so many ways.

The week of my second chemotherapy I received a package in the mail from Jean, the lady who was at Annmarie's when she gave me my beautiful haircut. This is what was in it:

Jean and I are are now FB friends and looking forward to a shared appointment at Annmarie's sometime at the end of the year, when I hopefully have some hair for her to work with!

Last Tuesday FedEx was at the door early in the morning with a package from my cousin Darren and his family in NYC.

More beautiful head gear! These I have to fight Gaby for. I must admit they do look good on her. Really good! I like them as an alternative to scarves. Something different. And they're quick, for when someone comes to the door unexpectedly and I don't want to scare them with the Kojak look, especially if I don't know who it is!

That's exactly what happened on Wednesday. There was a knock at the door and the kids and Roxi answered it. I scrambled to put something on my head and was met by Maria and two quarts of Rita's! Awesome, and perfect for the heat and humidity that's been our summer, and for me, with my 'compromised' appetite. Most things just don't taste good, but I can't go wrong with water ice. Black cherry and tangerine. Yum!

Returning from Rehoboth late Friday night, I had to wait til Saturday morning to pick up the held mail. There was a card from Cathy (and Kathy, I didn't properly acknowledge your card, as I gave credit to Cathy instead! you two kind of go together in my mind, but I know I mentioned the wrong Kathy/Cathy last time, so thanks to both of you!) and a package from Jasmine. A variety of Arbonne skin care products to use on my delicate skin. Fabulous Jaz!

During chemo, one is supposed to take extra special care to moisturize and protect, and Jasmine is an expect in that field, so she sent some goodies for me to try out. It's too bad you're all the way over in Utah Jasmine, as I could use some eyelashes. The brows are still holding on, but the lashes are pretty short and sparse. Which might be a good thing right now with this conjunctivitis thing going on!

Because my eyes were already bothering me when this arrived, I've yet to try it. I'm chomping at the bit to get my eyes healed so I can use it.

Kathy had contacted me last week about bringing over another dinner. After the last meal she blessed us with, I wasn't about to refuse, so we agreed on Sunday. Check out the spread she and Ashley delivered!

Spaghetti and meatballs, bread, salad with extra veggies from the garden and pizzelles. Kathy said she had to hide the pizzelles she was saving for us. Oh so good! And a bottle of wine, which I'll save to celebrate the end of chemo. Since the fog the chemo brings feels similar to having consumed 'one too many', I don't want to intensify that feeling right now.

Anne delivered a delicious dinner on Monday. We were still enjoying Kathy's dinner that day and for a lunch or two, so I'm not surprised that the food that Anne brought was still part of today's dinner. Every meal that we've been fortunate to receive has been good for at least two dinners and a lunch here and there.

 Fruit salad, green salad, banana bread, turkey and couscous. So much and so good!

Yesterday afternoon, shortly after hearing the UPS truck, I asked Gaby to check out front to see what the man in brown had left. To her surprise and mine, there was a goodie bag between the doors, from Heidi and Kait.

An assortment of snacks, cheese, crackers, apples, cookies, caramel corn and chocolate covered cherries. What a lovely and delicious surprise! Gaby claimed the popcorn.

A card from Jill was also in yesterday's mail, and my Aunt Lorette sent a card all the way from North Pender Island. Just because the mantel's full doesn't mean we're not finding a way to enjoy all of the cards and their beautiful sentiments. It's always so nice to receive them -- I'm very thankful and very blessed.

Chemo - 2 down, 2 to go: Resurfacing

Second round of chemo was this past Tuesday. Its now Sunday and I'm still feeling fuzzy, nauseous, blah.
Worse than the last time? Perhaps.
But we're certainly as well taken care of as last time!

Nina delivered dinner on Monday: brisket and kugel. We enjoyed it Tuesday and Wednesday, and I had some myself on Tuesday.

Gaby spent Tuesday at Ashton's, Wednesday with Sarah's family, slept at Claire's Wednesday, slept at Ashon's Thursday, was back with Claire's family Friday and Saturday afternoons. Nick, more self sufficient, was back and forth with friends.

Liz delivered a yummy taco dinner on Thursday which also served us for two dinners.

I must stress that even though I don't feel like eating much, I'm thankful that my family is well fed. I don't feel much like cooking either, and if left to their own devices, my children would be eating too many hot pockets and bowls of ramen.

The chemo itself was routine. No surprises, same as last time. Getting an on time start meant that I was actually home around 1:00 on Tuesday. I did take it easy, but more because I was tired from having gotten only 1 hour of sleep the night before. Next time, I'll take something to aid with sleep, as the steroids I'm required to take keep me awake.

I posed with Gaby's sign when I returned home from round 2. She had modified the sign last week, with a portrait she had done, using my REAL HAIR. Pretty cool, isn't it?! And this is my new look. I wore Trac's scarf and Liz's earrings for my second round of chemo. Quite fashionable, don't you think?!

The EMEND that I was prescribed for nausea didn't seem to be that much more effective than what I was given last time. But perhaps the nausea was actually worse this time and would have been unbearable without it. Don't know. This is supposed to be the heavy duty stuff, the big guns. Last time, I felt nauseous for several days following chemo and there wasn't much in the way of food, that I found appealing. I stuck to several foods that I recalled eating during my pregnancy, especially with Gaby. A week after the chemo my appetite started to return, though some foods continued to hold little appeal.

I guess I was expecting it not to be as bad this time, so I'm disappointed. But as I said, who's to say that it wouldn't have been even worse without the Emend. Two theories that were explained to me about chemo: one, that your body gets used to it and each treatment isn't as rough as the previous. I like that one and was hoping for that scenario. But,  perhaps the second theory applies to me: the effects from the chemo are cumulative. It's in my system and with each subsequent treatment I'll feel worse. If that's the case, I'm glad I'm only facing two more treatments!

I was determined to get through this one 'faster' than the last. I've read and been told to drink a lot in the first few days after chemo, to flush out the bad stuff. I stocked up on just plain bottled water for round two. The first time, I tried iced tea, which I love, and from there went to water with just lime or lemon. Ginger ale wasn't bad, but I couldn't drink an entire glass unless I was eating. But I was sure that plain, cold, bottled water would go down well and be just the trick to flush away the bad.

What I've discovered is that even plain cold bottled water has a funny taste after chemo. I tried, but I don't think I drank more than 4  1/2 l bottles on Wednesday, and not sure if I even got to 4 on Thursday. So that could be part of the reason why I felt crappy for several days after.

I took the Emend on Wednesday and Thursday as directed, and supplemented with another anti-nausea medicine that I had taken the last time. Again, I just have to believe that I would feel even worse if I didn't have these.

Also had to take the steroids the day after, which meant also taking Pepcid, since the steroids give me heartburn. Oh, and since the steroids can also keep me awake, it's OK to take something to sleep that first day/night after. It's kind of comical, the meds, and the side effects and the meds for the side effects. I just have to keep telling myself two more times. Radiation will probably be a walk in the park after this!

Gave myself my neulasta shot on Wednesday.  All by myself. I took some photos with the timer, but I don't see the point of sharing my fat belly roll with me plunging a needle into it! It's actually a bit out of focus, and certainly not terribly flattering. I can share some of my bald shots if I really want to freak people out!

As always, calls, emails, IM's, cards keep me going. Words of encouragement and offers of help continue to come our way and I'm so thankful. A. Judy, Maureen and Cathy added cards to the collection on the mantle and there's no longer room for all of them any more.

(If you look closely you can catch a glimpse of my pale bald dome!)

Yesterday, I was reading the Parade magazine that comes with the weekend paper, and there was an exerpt from a book by Susan G. Komen's sister Nancy Brinker Promise Me   It moved me to tears, not surprising, given my situtation. But it made me think about how fortunate I am to be fighting this fight at this time. What Susan Komen had to endure seems unbearable. She and her sister were and are, the true face of courage. This book comes out September 14th, my last scheduled chemo. I'll have to get myself a copy.

Great Days

Have happened pretty much every day since my diagnosis. It really doesn't take much to make a day great. Those especially crappy days, like a day of surgery, tests, and now, chemo, can quickly be turned around in a thousand different ways.

Since my chemo started, Gaby asks pretty much every morning, how I'm doing, feeling, how I slept. A lovely way to start a day.

Since sharing the news of my diagnosis and this journey, not a day goes by where I don't receive some sort of message, not so random act of kindness, love. Meals, books, cards, phone calls and electronic messaging via email, text, IM, blog comments. All great.

Yesterday was a banner day. I received an email from my cousin Peggy. We just haven't kept in touch over the years and keep up on each other's goings on through our parents. But yesterday she wrote, sharing words of encouragement and support not only from herself, but from her parents and siblings too.

She also shared a quote:

Instead of asking, "Why am I having to deal with all of this? ask yourself what you most need to learn from your experiences. View the situation much like the butterfly must see its cocoon....as a barrier you must break through to become the extraordinary creature you were designed to be."     ~Betty Mahalik~

Put a smile on my face and warmed my heart.

But that wasn't my one for the day. Yesterday brought the averages up!

I grabbed the mail on the way to drive Nick to his guitar lesson. It was fat and squishy, which can mean a package, which is always fun. Not one to wait, I was driving and opening. It was from TX, my friend Tracey, and I knew before I opened it that it was a scarf. A beautiful scarf. With a beautiful card in which she wrote that she knew I wasn't going to need it, but just in case . . .

Pretty, isn't it?

Turns out I missed some of the mail, which I noticed on my way back into the house. Two more cards. Both from Canada. More words of love and support from my friend Brenda, and a card from my Aunt Joanne, sending love and good wishes from the entire family. I hit the trifecta in yesterday's mail, let me tell you! Or perhaps I should consider it a hat trick! Either way, it was lovely!

Then last night, there was  knock at the door, early evening. A neighbor, Mrs. R, whom I wave to more than talk to just because of distance, was at the door, to give me a hug and good wishes, as she'd just heard my news. She herself had gone something similar in February, unbeknownst to me, and she's doing very well. She lost her husband several years ago and has remained vibrant and independent; where I see her most is in her yard and gardens. Fit and positive, it was a delight to receive a visit from her.

Under the heading of great days, I should also mention last Thursday.

Gaby's friend had slept over the night before, and just as they were getting ready to head off to their morning at Robbins Park, there was a knock at the door. Julie and her Dad Steve, from across the street, were delivering dinner all the way from Delaware. They're my friend Elise's family (part of the family) and Elise had told me a couple of days earlier that they'd be coming in from their summer place, with a meal.

In the bit of commotion that resulted from them coming and the kids getting ready to go, I forgot to snap a photo. I'm sure Julie was relieved anyway.

Delicious pasta with chicken and mushrooms, salad, rolls, and a blueberry cake/streusel that Nick practically inhaled. Yummo!

After camp, Nary invited us for lunch. It was just Gaby and me. Nary made quesadillas and chicken for the kids and these scruptious noodles for us.

 

Good without hot sauce and even better with. But I don't keep up with Nary when it comes to hot sauce. She grew up eating it like I did ketchup.

We spent most of the afternoon there, Gaby and Nary's daughter playing monopoly for about 3 hours. They played one quick game and then started a second which still wasn't over when it was time to go home. Intense.

My Aunt Judy sends regular emails and I came home to one of her encouraging and uplifting emails. Subject lines like: "I'm Proud of You" warm my heart.

A relaxing day for me. The only food I prepared was scrambled eggs for breakfast. And of course, warming Elise's pasta. Easy day in the kitchen and yummy for my tummy.

The Weekend

Quiet and uneventful.

Gaby spent Saturday with her friend Amy, swimming in this oppressive heat. Nick hung out with his friends day and evening. Marc packed for his overseas adventure. I, vegged.

I finished off the hamburger helper for breakfast yesterday (Oh if I didn't know better I'd think I was preggers!) Had a cucumber salad for lunch. The kind my Baba used to make, with sliced cukes, vinegar, sour cream, and seasoned salt. No dill and/or black pepper though. Since Nick's friends were going to be here for dinner, as well as Gab, and Marc would be gone, I ordered pizza. Good old Rosario's. A cheesesteak pizza, which I'm sure would have been much better with the onions and hot peppers. But that's for another day.

Not sure about the bone pain. Still feeling the nausea and foggy headedness. I tried one of the anti-nausea pills Friday morning, but haven't taken any since. Wednesday, I took the two different types as directed, and still felt nauseous, but who knows how I would have felt without it. All I've taken this weekend is the tylenol, and I feel better with than without it.

I've taken my temperature most every day and it's been normal or just slightly high, so nothing to worry about there.

I slept alright Saturday night, even with squirmy worm Gaby. When Marc is away, she usually sleeps with me. Even though she's a bit of a bed hog, she's a great cuddler.

This morning, Sunday, I actually made scrambled eggs with a bit of cheddar. A normal breakfast food for breakfast! V8 to go with it, which makes ketchup on my eggs unnecessary. My big plan was to try to walk this morning, hoping that would clear the fogginess that seems to linger in my head. But when I stepped outside at 7 a.m. it was 80 F, about 27 C, so I decided to use the Wii. You can watch TV and the Wii will time out a predetermined pace. I opted for 20 minutes and that was enough for my jelly legs. But it really didn't do my head any good. My friend Robin suggested mall walking and I think we might just have to try that. I think I'd feel better after doing that than steps on the Wii in my living room.

Chatted with Marc briefly on Skype this morning. Honey, I love chatting with you but I don't like when you decide to call me so that you can show someone else how Skype video works! Marc is in Zurich and I met his friend Hans and his entire family -- daughter, wife and son -- shortly after my Wii walk.  Marc was at their home for dinner, and he kept trying to coax me into better light so they could see how great the video was! I was going all vampire, trying to stay in the shadows!

Gaby was invited to spend the day with her friend Claire. She was very excited, as they've been away all last week and the girls have a lot of catching up to do. They also planned to take her with them to another neighbor's for a cookout -- even more fun.

I decided on another outing to Target. Not rain nor hail nor sleet nor chemo will keep me away from Target when the school supplies go on sale. This week:  binders! I figured I could kill two birds with one stone, since Target now carries a lot of grocery items. So besides the binders, markers, post it notes and mirror that I had promised Gab for the back of her door,  I picked up LOTS of Kozy Shack Rice Pudding, vanilla yogurt, OJ, cereal, eggos, and some oranges. A beeline to Sam's for some frozen berries and I headed home. I should mention that I love smoothies with vanilla yogurt, OJ and frozen strawberries, blueberries, etc, but the one I tried to make on Thursday tasted yucky. I'm thinking it might have been because I had no strawbs, and the yogurt was sugarfree (Marc's) So I'll try again with my 'normal' ingredients and hope that it's better this time.

I spent quite a bit of time on the phone this afternoon with my friend Nina, who's son is friend of Nick's. This November will mark her 6 year anniversary as a breast cancer survivor. We had so much to talk about. Though everyone's experience in this battle is different, there is so much the same. So much that she went through and completely understands. It's comforting. Reassuring. In many ways, not the least of which, that, 'so I'm NOT going crazy' way. Especially this nagging, foggy head/brain feeling. Like I had just one too many cocktails. But it's been the next morning and the next and the next, and it hasn't gone away.

Nina said she remembers feeling the same way. She shared the story of her neighbor going through chemo at the same time, and how different the two experienced it. Reassuring to me, as this experience hasn't been quite as textbook as was spelled out to me. Which is also another reason to document it. I probably won't remember much once it's all said and done. We like to forgot the unpleasant things!

Nina also remembered a cook book she had acquired during her chemo: Eating Well Through Cancer . She said she'd look for it and drop it off if she was able to find it.

Not only did she find it and bring it by, she also brought over a bottle of Skinny Sport Water, pink berry citrus flavour. It's chilling in the fridge right now. She had picked them up at the Shop 'n Bag this afternoon, gave me my choice of most appealing flavour, and delivered it, with the cook book, shortly after we got off of the phone. I'll let you know how it is Nina -- thanks!

My friends and family continue to call, write, email, IM, text with messages of love and support. Nary called me today, while I was at Target, to nab Gaby this afternoon, with the same intentions as Claire's family. I love hearing from everyone and it really does lift me up. It's the boost, the encouragement I need. And that I am so thankful for.

Gaby's doing a Robbins Park camp during the mornings this week, Nick has his usual Monday allergist appointment and guitar lesson, and I have an appointment with Dr. N on Tuesday and Jacki on Thursday. Marc's not back til the weekend. The forecast is for the 90's all week, nothing really under 30 C. No break in the weather. Whatever will be, will be.

Quick Thanks!

I figure if I slip this post in between a couple of others, maybe Liz and Sue won't really notice and won't get upset with me sharing these photos.

This is Liz delivering dinner Tuesday, first chemo day. It was SO good and I was able to enjoy it. Especially the salad, which I heaped on my plate the second time round. It was a good thing I filled up on those veggies, cuz I haven't had much since then!

By the time Sue delivered dinner Thursday, I couldn't eat much of what she brought. I did enjoy the baked potatoes with plenty of sour cream though. And it makes me feel good to know that my family is well fed. I didn't feel like doing much more than dialing a take out number that day, I tell you!

Sue was back about an hour later, as she had forgotten a dessert she had made, Toll House Pie. Again, it looked so yummy, like something I would have loved, but I didn't even try a nibble.

The kids weren't too concerned about my loss of appetite. More for them.

Now, Marc is participating in A Biggest Loser Challenge at work, so he didn't have any dessert. It was just Gaby, Nick and Jess.

This is what was left a short time later.

Kindness and Flowers

I am repeatedly overwhelmed by the reaching out, the love and support offered by everyone. My friend Heidi did the Susan G Komen walk on Mother's Day and picked up a book for me, Finding the "CAN" in Cancer  As the foreward states, it's a pragmatic and practical handbook on dealing with the details of cancer treatment; a book with helpful and inspirational vignettes; and most of all, a story of friends. It states that battling cancer with an optimistic and upbeat attitude is a challenging task and that it helps to have friends. While it also states that it's even more helpful to have friends who know what you are up against, I'm thankful to have friends of both varieties, those who know and those who don't. I'm thankful to each and every one of them, friends and family alike. Thanks Heidi!

Kindness and support comes when you don't expect it. Not that I'm surprised. Our dentist and his staff are all warm and wonderful people and we've been with them since moving to PA 13 years ago. Debbie, our dentist's wife, and Kelly, are the receptionist/hygenist/office support folks. We love them all and Gaby especially extolls their virtues. She's had 3 teeth filled on three separate occasions, and was so comforted by Kelly holding her hand that first time, getting her through the unknown. The third filling was last week, and Debbie gave Gaby a sweater to wear, as the AC had made the place a bit frosty, but was necessary with the 100+ temps of the week.

And two weeks ago, when Gaby went for x-rays and had that third cavity diagnosed, Debbie surprised me with flowers.

(she's not going to like me posting the picture here -- she only agreed to being photographed with Gaby!)

But I want to share the picture here. Aren't they beautiful?! I was so touched.

Marc had been  there a couple of weeks earlier, and told them of my diagnosis and upcoming treatments. Debbie also left a phone message for me that day, offering her prayers and support. That touched my heart also.

I'm very good at remaining composed when discussing my breast cancer. My prognosis is excellent, so all's good. But I still get choked up when I talk about how thankful I am that I'm not going it alone. How wonderful it is to have so many people reaching out in so many ways. And that's how I felt when Debbie gave me the flowers. Choked up. So very appreciative. So very lucky.

Their beauty warmed our home for a week, but the warmth and kindness behind them will last a lot longer.

My Potluck Friends

That's what we call ourselves. We've been friends for over 20 years, brought together by a common employer, common position. Our first dinner wasn't a potluck, just dinner out. We decided that we'd like to keep getting together for dinner, but thought it would be more fun to take turns hosting potlucks in our homes. 

I think we're all pretty good cooks and have gotten better throughout the years, with the challenge of one upping each other's fabulous recipes. Many of my PA friends know my Chorizo Corn Chowder, a favourite I bring to soup suppers or any other gathering where soup's appropriate. That's a Bonnie recipe. Everyone BUT my family loves it. I make whole pots, double the recipe, and freeze it in single servings for me!

We thought we should put a cook book together, for ourselves. We're good at emailing recipes to each other after a get together, but the book has fallen by the wayside.

I left Winnipeg 13 years ago for PA, Tracey, 11 years ago, heading south to TX. But whenever one of us makes it back to the Peg, we get together. And two years ago, we finally took to the road. The girls all traveled here and we visited NYC, among other places. We talk about doing it again and I'm sure we will one day. We such a FABULOUS long weekend together, got along so well, and made many treasured memories.

That's the last time I saw Trac, as our times in Winnipeg don't usually coincide. So I knew not to expect to see her in Winnipeg last month. But I was so pleased when Bonz, Brenda, Monique and Patti worked  to arrange their schedule around our short 4 1/2 days there, so that we could get together. Taking either 1/2 or a full day off, we met at Monique's Friday morning for brunch. In the end Patti couldn't make it, as she was heading to Wisconsin for the weekend. Funny enough, Monique was heading out at noon for MN.

Rather than completely repeat myself,  you can read about my Friday morning in Winnipeg on my other blog. But I did want to repeat the fact that these girls, in Winnipeg and TX, along with my sister, arranged, through my friend here, Elise, for housecleaning, the first of which was while we were in Winnipeg. What a pleasure to come home to a clean and dust/dust bunny free place! And there are more cleanings in my future, to be scheduled at my convenience.

They also presented me with a beautiful necklace, 'Faith', which I've been wearing 'faithfully', since I received it. It's a reminder to stay strong, and a reminder of the love and support I have. I'm so blessed.

Did I mention that they're great cooks too?!

Can't wait to see you girls again. Love you all, Brenda, Monique, Bonnie, Patti and Tracey.

Your friends certainly make sure you eat GOOD when you have cancer!

It all started the week after receiving my diagnosis. I got the news on a Friday and was fortunate to have an 8:30 appointment with my surgical oncologist the following Monday.  It was a busy day, as Mondays had evolved into this spring. I had an appointment to take Roxi to the vet at 10:30, Gaby had early dismissal from which I was thinking of picking her up, in order to get her to a hair appointment with Annmarie. That was for 2:00. We had to make sure not to dilly dally too much, as Nick had his 3:45 guitar lesson, after which we had to gobble dinner and get Gaby to her 6:00 soccer practice.

With the emotional newness of my diagnosis, I was quickly moved to tears upon listening to Elise's phone message while waiting in the doctor's office. She said she knew I had a busy day, a lot on my plate, and would I let her bring dinner over. I was touched and very receptive to the idea, though the thought did cross my mind that Nick and Gaby might get suspicious. Remember, they knew nothing at this point.

Well, my worries were all for naught. When I answered their usual question "What's for dinner?" with "I'm not sure. Mrs. Seyfried's bringing dinner over to us tonight" no one batted an eye.

She and Julie brought over a huge pan of chicken enchilladas, salad and triple chocolate mocha cookies. Everything was yummy and lasted for another 2 meals. I had thought about freezing some of it, but before I could give it another thought, everything was gone.

Surgery was scheduled for another 3 weeks down the road, and I agreed to further offers of meals during that time. After Marc's scrumptious lasagna on the day of my surgery, of which there exist no photos, Nary brought over Chinese noodles and a beef and beans dish. Another winner, and so good that Gaby ate the noodles cold for lunch, at school, for the rest of the week.

Elise had called to ask if I was ready for Peace meals, those prepared by our church members. I said I would love one and Thursday would work well for us. I got suspicious when she called to confirm the time SHE should bring it over. Now I must mention that Elise is a fabulous cook and baker, and I would love to eat meals prepared by her every day. But I didn't want her to go to all that trouble again.

But she did.

Pretzel chicken over polenta served with cheese sauce a la Rachael Ray. Sensational! Oh and of course a love salad and chocolatey frosted cake for dessert. The name escapes me but I enjoyed it for a few more days after all of the chicken was gone.

We were generously provided with meals for three days, which served us into the weekend.

And it started again on the following Monday. I was shuttling Gaby to soccer practice, so I missed my dear friend Kathy's delivery, but I certainly enjoyed it!

She had mentioned she was going to bring this tortilla soup which sounded yummy. And it was! With grated cheese, avocado and sour cream for garnish, and home made tortilla strips to go with it. That was a bowl in a meal. But she had also brought chicken enchilladas and corn on the cob. And a pitcher of real margaritas for the grown ups!

We didn't even touch the enchillas or corn, so it worked out very well that Lisa brought over a pasta casserole the next morning, ready for freezing.

A riccotta pasta casserole, ready for either oven or freezer. This one went south, with much appreciation. So did the Texas toast that accompanied it. Of course we couldn't freeze the salad, and the chocolate covered pretzels didn't need to go there either.

The casserole didn't stay frozen long though. The following week we were readying for our trip to Canada, and it served as dinner both Monday and Tuesday. And it was delicious.

Wednesday saw Elizabeth appear at our door bearing gifts in a giant princess bag.

Seasoned chicken breasts, brown rice and a yummy green salad. Perfect. And ample! I was eating dinners for lunches and there was still leftovers. I was also nibbling on the cold rice whenever I'd open the fridge -- can't resist!

So when Carole brought over Thursday's meal of roast beef, baked potatoes and another beautiful salad, we were running out of room in the fridge! The kids love roast beef sandwiches, and we probably used more of the potatoes fried up over the next few days. The salad, once we finished Elizabeth's, lasted into the weekend.

They had come over early so the girls could play for awhile and I let them leave without getting a picture of Carole and the food. Still got the food though! That's actually Elizabeth's salad from the day before.

Once again the meals took us into the weekend. Marc and I actually dined in NYC that Saturday night, and we all ate at the golf course on the Sunday. (one of those food minimum/end of the month things). So that was two weeks of minimal cooking for me. Which meant quick runs to the grocery store for not much more than milk and fruit. With Lisa's casserole covering those last two meals before we left for Canada, I had had a pretty easy time in the kitchen.

In Canada, meals were prepared for us. Between different family members, the wedding of course, and dining out, another week passed without me really lifting a untensil.

Spoiled? Yeah, I think so. But ever so grateful.