Over the Radiation Hump!

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel -- 18 down, 12 to go. Barring any cancelations, I will be done on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.

I'm having to take an hour out of every day, and work around that hour between 10:30 and 11:30 every morning. But that's it. Oh, and remembering not to apply cream or lotion of any kind 4 hours prior, to the target area.

I can eat what I want and it tastes good -- tastes like it should! My head is clear -- no chemo fog. And of course, no nausea!

Now, there is the problem of the hot flashes. Those have lingered and I expect that to continue. I've been doing a bit of research and confirmed that yes, chemo can put you into menopause. It was getting close to that time anyway, I figure! And hot flashes can be worse when chemo is the trigger. I figure I'm somewhat in the middle as far as hot flashes go. I'm painfully aware of them, and they're still waking me several times a night. But my heart rate doesn't change, and I don't think my face gets flushed. (I keep forgetting to check in the mirror when one hits) I read of women who thought they were having a heart attack as their heart rate quickens with each occurence. So while they suck, they could still be worse!

And the kindness of family and friends never stops. I appreciate the kind words, cards, emails and never tire of hearing from everyone.

I was surprised by a package a couple of weeks ago. Marc was away and it was our wedding anniversary week -- he always seems to be away that week. So I thought at first it was from Marc. But upon opening the box, which contained a vase, cut flowers, and chocolates, I discovered it was from Pier, Nate and the bubs. So sweet, so beautiful, and so delicious!

Gorgeous!

Confessing here that no member of my family saw these fancy chocolates. I ate them ALL! And not even all at once. I paced myself and ate one or two a day, so I am guilty of not sharing, and hiding them. From the kids, the dog, and the husband. I'm not proud, but they were oh so good!

The following week, our neighbor Jane, who lives around the corner, surprised me with these. In lovely pink foil and with a pink bow. Beautiful and perfect for the season.

Chapter Next: Radiation

Starts tomorrow. Monday to Friday, for 6 weeks. I'll know more after tomorrow, but I figure it should take less than an hour each day.

Tomorrow and Thursday, my appointment is 8:45 a.m.. Friday forward, I will have a standing appointment at 10:45 a.m. The hospital is about 10 minutes away, especially at that time of day.

The most discussed side effect is fatigue, though it's not clear whether it is caused by the actual radiation, or rather the pace. The schedule. The having to do it every day. That's one theory.

Some people travel greater distances to receive treatment, and that can contribute to the fatigue. Having to fit in that extra time each day can be tough. Since my 'extra' time isn't as great, I'm hoping the fatigue won't be either.

I continue to be buoyed by the love and support of so many wonderful people, family and friends. Here and faraway. Wonderful hugs and kisses and words of encouragement. And cards. Crossing the border from Monique, and crossing township lines from Patti C.

Beautiful flowers from Sue & Jim, celebrating the end of chemo. They've been brightening these past few days, and that lovely ceramic pumpkin they're in will continue to do so for long after.

I'm one lucky girl.

Goodness. Kindness.

Continues.

A beautiful flower arrangment, from the Pelletiers, in Winnipeg. Brightness and cheer for almost 2 weeks.

Yummy chicken, broccoli and mashed potato dinner from Melissa, with home made rice pudding for dessert. Perfect for my tummy two days after chemo.

Spaghetti bolonese, an exotic salad and crusty Italian bread from Pam. We enjoyed this last week and it was perfect on a day where we had to run out again shortly after the bus.

Julie, caught in the act of delivering tea biscuits on an Sunday afternoon. Gaby just happened to have my camera in her hands as Julie arrived, and she snapped this photo! I'm glad she did, because the last couple of times Julie delivered tea biscuits, she managed to sneak them on our doorstep unnoticed, early on a weekday, on her way to work. Got you this time Julie!

Pumpkin chocolate chip cookies from Elise, left with Gaby last Sunday while I was driving Marc to the airport. Still feeling crummy last Sunday, I had decided it would be best to skip out the first day of Sunday school. Not sure if the other teachers had anything planned for the craft, I decided to just pop in and drop off big heart shapes and a bag of stickers, for first day name tags. They did have something prepared. On the way out, I ran into several people, including Elise. Feeling the need to explain both my appearance, and the direction I was headed, I let them know I was on my way home to nurse my head cold.  Elise obviously picked up on that. Those cookies have been great with the many cups of tea I've had of late.

Goodness. Kindness. Blessings.

 

Chemo is DONE!!

As Dr. N said, it was graduation day! Thank goodness!

But there were a few hiccups.

Great weather this time, and we arrived right on time for my 9:45 appointment with the doctor, with chemo scheduled for 10. Now, this was really the only day we had some time restraints. We had to pick Nick up at school at 2:20 to get him to his 3:00 allergy shots appointment (for which we're usually 10 minutes early and taken promptly) and then get Marc home in time to turn around and head for the airport for his night flight to Belgium.

Hiccup # 1: no record of my doctor appointment. The chemo was scheduled, thankfully. But they couldn't find anything about the first appointment. As I was waiting for them to sort it out, which they assured they would, what seemed like a long string of people (not really THAT long, but in this situation it seemed like dozens when it was really 3 or 4 folks!) all coming in for their appointments with Dr. N. Of course they did get it all worked out, pleasantly, as always. Did I mention there seems to be all nice people working there. Only nice people.

So we were set back a bit, putting me in the infusion room, sitting in my comfy recliner, at 10:30 instead of 10. Perhaps I delayed things a bit, but since it was my last chemo, I requested, and was obliged with, a photo of this fabulous doctor and nurse team.

That's Dr. N on the left and Nurse B on the right. My medical oncologist and the breast cancer nurse for all patients at that location. I'll have to check her card and perhaps correct this to a more accurate description. They are as amazing, personable and upbeat as they look. And so professional, compassionate, patient, caring, all of those adjectives and more. I can't say enough how pleasant they have made every visit, every step of this decidedly unpleasant stretch of this journey. Love them.

In the infusion room, I've been in the care of equally adjective-worthy nurses, though never the same one. But they cover each other, so I might start out with a main nurse for the visit, but others step in and cover if she's busy with someone else, or my pump beeps when she's not around. This time, it was Patti, and she was fabulous. And again, so were the others with whom she tag teamed.

My vein, usually fine, appeared to be wearing signs of an old bruise, perhaps even from the last chemo. I hadn't noticed and hadn't felt everything. Because of the removal of lymph nodes and the subsequent risk of lymphodema in my left arm, no blood pressure or vein puncture of any kind is now allowed on that left side. So we're down to the right.

After getting slow to no flow in that vein, a decision was made to search for a new one. Closer to my wrist. Less meaty, a bit painful initially, but once she had it solidly set up, it was good to go. Since nothing started flowing into my veins til 10:50, I anticipated my ETC (estimated time of completion -- my acronym!) to be more like 1:50. Called Marc to tell him, only to have him tell me that he would be stuck on a conference call til 2:00, not leaving to pick me up til then. That stressed me, as I couldn't see getting to the school on time for Nick, which would make us late for the allergy appointment, and might get us back home late, and have Marc leaving late, maybe too late, for the airport. Not good.

In the end it all worked out.

Nick hopped the bus, and we got home 5 minutes before him. Picked him up on the way home from the bus stop, got to the Dr's building right at 3, Marc dropped us off and parked, so we were only a couple of minutes late walking in. Thankfully, as usual they took him right away. Then the obligatory 20 minute wait, they check the 4 injection sites, and we're usually cleared to go. Marc again left to get the car and picked us up at the door, which saved a few minutes once more. We were home by 3:40.

I forgot to mention that between Nick's and Gaby's departures for school this morning, a little elf I suspect to be Julie C left a yummy package of tea biscuits between the doors. So sweet and perfectly timed. I was looking forward to brewing a cup of tea, spreading on some chilled butter, and enjoying a biscuit.

I also forgot to mention that when we got home from the hospital, just before leaving to get Nick, there was another package on our doorstep. A box. From a Philly bakery. And a notecard from Helen. Explaining, among other things, that the box contained an apple crumb pie. And it looked delicious!!

But for the time being, the pie was safely secured on top of the fridge, one of the few Roxi-proof locations in our home, and we had to turn around to get Nick. With Marc's efficient driving, he left himself enough time for a slice of that pie when he got home. Of course Nick's was consumed at a more leisurely pace, though it's pretty much like Father like Son, the speed at which they consume almost anything!

Before Marc left, I checked the mail and found 3 cards addressed to me. From Steph, Gaby's teacher from last year, Pam, and another from Odette and Tony.

Shortly after Marc left, I heard a vehicle stopped outside, and beat Roxi to the door, closed her off from the action, which was a gentlemen walking up the drive with a floral arrangement. From my Mom and Dad, and my sister's family. Celebrating the end of my chemo, 2400 km away.

I tried calling my Mom but got her voicemail. I was so choked up I couldn't leave a proper message, and gave the impression that I was upset. Which I wasn't. Just ovewhelmed again.

This was yesterday. Along with loving emails from Pier and A. Judy, and Linda. Lots of supportive messages on FB. Another delicious meal from Nina, though I didn't have my camera this time! A promise of tomorrow's meal from Melissa.

And now, lots of plans for coffee, tea, playdates, in the near future. And I can't wait.

Right now, what I'm really working towards is two more good days like this. My friend Tracey, with whom I worked with for 10 years I'd say, will be in Parsippany NJ for the weekend, joining her husband who has been there this past week and next. When she found out she was going to be there for a longish weekend, she wrote and proposed we get together on Friday. I was crushed. Knowing how bad I had previously felt in those first few days after chemo, I had my doubts that we would see each other.

Now, Tracey moved to TX in 99, two years after we moved to PA. I really don't recall seeing her in Winnipeg once she moved (too cold to go back at Christmas, eh Trac?!)  Two years ago, we reunited with our potluck friends here, for our Six in the City and Wine Tasting Adventure weekend. It was fabulous, but I haven't seen her since. She, the giver of the beautiful blue scarf I've been wearing, would be the perfect person to see right now.

That's my plan, my hope. A real life hug from Tracey on Friday. I'll let you know how that turns out!

Gaby, my supportive caregiver and sidekick in all of this, took  my 4th and final photo in front of her beautiful poster.

Fourth. Final. DONE!! Yahoo!!!

I will carefully remove that poster soon, and preserve that lovely portrait in the scrapbook I plan to put together. I'm stuck on the title 'When you have cancer . . .'   I figure it's a good one to run with.

I've been collecting papers, bits, cards, photos, emails, you name it, to include. Got the book, the paper, just gotta get going. Soon.

And I've got to get back to my journal, a gift from Lynn, that I've been using to record notes, memories, events, gifts. PKay sent another card recently, as did Dave and Deb. Missy made sure Gaby got to soccer practice tonight and Coach got her home. Carole's assured us she'll get Gaby to the ice cream social at her school tomorrow night. They don't want to miss that, and I just might have to this year.

I don't want to forget all of the goodness. I've saved all of the emails to print. I could do the same with all of the FB messages. All for that scrapbook I've just got to get started on.

In the meantime, opportunities like these continue to present themselves.

Snapped this picture mid-morning. More goodies in the door.

Homemade cinnamon buns, a lovely card and even the newspaper between the door, from dear Nary.

(In keeping with my effort to maintain this 'good feeling' I'll save the details of this day after, for another post and make sure I get some sleep. After drinking as much more water as I can!)

XO

Kindness and Flowers

I am repeatedly overwhelmed by the reaching out, the love and support offered by everyone. My friend Heidi did the Susan G Komen walk on Mother's Day and picked up a book for me, Finding the "CAN" in Cancer  As the foreward states, it's a pragmatic and practical handbook on dealing with the details of cancer treatment; a book with helpful and inspirational vignettes; and most of all, a story of friends. It states that battling cancer with an optimistic and upbeat attitude is a challenging task and that it helps to have friends. While it also states that it's even more helpful to have friends who know what you are up against, I'm thankful to have friends of both varieties, those who know and those who don't. I'm thankful to each and every one of them, friends and family alike. Thanks Heidi!

Kindness and support comes when you don't expect it. Not that I'm surprised. Our dentist and his staff are all warm and wonderful people and we've been with them since moving to PA 13 years ago. Debbie, our dentist's wife, and Kelly, are the receptionist/hygenist/office support folks. We love them all and Gaby especially extolls their virtues. She's had 3 teeth filled on three separate occasions, and was so comforted by Kelly holding her hand that first time, getting her through the unknown. The third filling was last week, and Debbie gave Gaby a sweater to wear, as the AC had made the place a bit frosty, but was necessary with the 100+ temps of the week.

And two weeks ago, when Gaby went for x-rays and had that third cavity diagnosed, Debbie surprised me with flowers.

(she's not going to like me posting the picture here -- she only agreed to being photographed with Gaby!)

But I want to share the picture here. Aren't they beautiful?! I was so touched.

Marc had been  there a couple of weeks earlier, and told them of my diagnosis and upcoming treatments. Debbie also left a phone message for me that day, offering her prayers and support. That touched my heart also.

I'm very good at remaining composed when discussing my breast cancer. My prognosis is excellent, so all's good. But I still get choked up when I talk about how thankful I am that I'm not going it alone. How wonderful it is to have so many people reaching out in so many ways. And that's how I felt when Debbie gave me the flowers. Choked up. So very appreciative. So very lucky.

Their beauty warmed our home for a week, but the warmth and kindness behind them will last a lot longer.

Flowers. For me

Overwhelmed. Again.

I should have devoted a post to the day before surgery, but didn't. It was another busy Monday. But full of wonderful surprises.

I knew Pastor Kay was coming over to sit with me the day before surgery. To talk. To offer communion and prayers. So when there was a knock at the door around the time I was expecting PKay, I was suprised and delighted to see my old friend Lynn at the door.

One of my first and greatest friends here in PA, we have lost touch over the recent years. Our childrens' activities take us in different directions, as has as life. Lynn worked full time and went back to school to become a nurse. She did, maintaining a crazy schedule for years, and graduating a year ago. We finally met for lunch last summer and thought we'd get together more regularly after that. And as so often happens, it didn't happen. But Lynn was back in the loop for book club, so there were more opportunities to see her. Still not regularly enough to have shared my news face to face. She received the email I sent to local and faraway friends. On the advice of her husband, who reminded her I was telling Nick and Gaby over the weekend, she waited til Monday to come over, bearing gifts, love and support. An uplifting music CD, a beautiful journal, and a card bearing a warm and encouraging message. I was touched and just so very happy to see her. And bummed because I knew our visit couldn't be as long as I would have liked. We enjoyed the few minutes we had, and she departed once PKay arrived.

PKay also arrived bearing gifts. A beautiful blue prayer shawl, made by the ladies of the Lamb Circle, at our church. Again I was touched. The goodness of people and their eagerness to reach out and help is awesome. Inspiring. Welcome.

PKay spent over an hour with me. We talked. Got off topic, as we often do. She offered prayers and shared communion.

My pastor is the mother of a soon to be sophomore boy, just like me. With that in common, I think of her probably as a friend first. And while I guess your pastor should be your friend, I sometimes forget that she's also my pastor. I just didn't have the same dilemma growing up in the Catholic church!

Friend and pastor, she's wonderful in both roles, and a blessing to me.

Since I titled this post Flowers, I should mention them.

The day after surgery, I received a delivery. A beautiful arrangement from Marc's office. Over those next few days, a lovely basket of flowers from the Godoskis, all. A box of beautiful cut flowers from my Mom and Dad, sister and her family. Also left on my doorstep was a vase of spring pinks, from my Godmother.  All far far away in Winnipeg, but close in my heart.

Cindy brought these sunflowers over on Sunday. Bright and sunny.

An edible assortment from Joanne, who works with Marc.

Cards bearing heartfelt notes and well wishes came in the mail. My friend Peg gave me an inspirational book when she and Sandi made the trip my way, for coffee. Elizabeth left a mysterious bag bearing witch hazel and lavender. Something we had discussed. 

While still facing uncertainly in terms of treatment at that point, I was certainly distracted from giving it too much thought. In an absolutely wonderful way. Wow.