Catching Up & Cared For

I've come to the conclusion that the middle week of my chemo cycle is the best. I think I'm so thrilled to be coming out of the fog that even the bone pain can't get me down. Slow me down, yes, but not get me down. I remind myself that the neulasta is doing it's job, regenerating those white blood cells and hopefully keeping more bad stuff at bay.

However, the bone pain did drag out a bit more this time. The ibuprofen did make it bearable, but it was around for 2 or 3 days. I made it to the mall for my morning walk with Robin and Heidi on Monday, but that was it for the week. I had a lousy sleep Monday night with a middle of the night hot tubby (yeah, bone pain) so caught up on my sleep instead of walking. Wednesday we decided to take in the free morning movie at the Regal with the B's, so that was my excuse for not walking, and Thursday we were packing for our overnight to Rehoboth. That was a lame excuse, I know!

We drove to Rehoboth for an overnight with several people from our church. Elise and her family have spent summers there for forever, and they were our hosts. Two vehicles and a total of 9 of us joined them for a night and beach day, which didn't meet expectations due to the rain. Yeah, the rain that started up again as we were loading the car to leave, and hit yet again, with full force, after our pizza dinner on the boardwalk. Just bad timing and a prelude to more adventures on Friday the 13th. It was still a lot of fun and gave us some great stories to tell!

Marc was in India last week and had arrived home by the time we got back Friday night. Both of us noticed upon waking Saturday that our eyes were kind of gunked up. We attributed it to the open windows and possible pollen or some other sort of allergens, though neither of us are prone to seasonal allergies. Mine continued and seemed to get worse, so today, I visited my doctor, to determine whether or not it might be pink eye. Just what I need right now!

After walking with Robin this morning (4 for 4 this week) I called my doctor's office and they offered a 10:00 appointment. It was already 9:15, so I raced home, showered, dressed and headed back out the door. A benefit of no hair on my head and super slow growth on my legs and pits is how very fast I can shower and be ready. Add to this the fact that I'm wearing no eye make up because of the constant tearing and gunk (no itching or swelling I might add!) and I had no problem getting to the doctor's office on time.

He wasn't 100% sure that it was pink eye, pretty much eliminated allergies, and gave me a prescription for antibiotic drops, which I'm administering every 4 hours. I've only done it 3 times so far, and haven't noticed a difference yet. It should take at least a day, I've been told, and I must continue the drops for 5 days.

Now Marc's eyes aren't bothering him anymore, so we're not sure what that means. Is my immune system in its somewhat compromised state unable to fight this off on its own? Dunno. We'll see what the drops do.

This week has been mostly about cleaning Gab's room and readying for this weekend's yard sale that she and her friend Claire are holding at Claire's house. That and yard work, birthday parties, build & grow at Lowes, big concert for Nick, and catching up with friends we hadn't seen much of this summer.

And being cared for. In so many ways.

The week of my second chemotherapy I received a package in the mail from Jean, the lady who was at Annmarie's when she gave me my beautiful haircut. This is what was in it:

Jean and I are are now FB friends and looking forward to a shared appointment at Annmarie's sometime at the end of the year, when I hopefully have some hair for her to work with!

Last Tuesday FedEx was at the door early in the morning with a package from my cousin Darren and his family in NYC.

More beautiful head gear! These I have to fight Gaby for. I must admit they do look good on her. Really good! I like them as an alternative to scarves. Something different. And they're quick, for when someone comes to the door unexpectedly and I don't want to scare them with the Kojak look, especially if I don't know who it is!

That's exactly what happened on Wednesday. There was a knock at the door and the kids and Roxi answered it. I scrambled to put something on my head and was met by Maria and two quarts of Rita's! Awesome, and perfect for the heat and humidity that's been our summer, and for me, with my 'compromised' appetite. Most things just don't taste good, but I can't go wrong with water ice. Black cherry and tangerine. Yum!

Returning from Rehoboth late Friday night, I had to wait til Saturday morning to pick up the held mail. There was a card from Cathy (and Kathy, I didn't properly acknowledge your card, as I gave credit to Cathy instead! you two kind of go together in my mind, but I know I mentioned the wrong Kathy/Cathy last time, so thanks to both of you!) and a package from Jasmine. A variety of Arbonne skin care products to use on my delicate skin. Fabulous Jaz!

During chemo, one is supposed to take extra special care to moisturize and protect, and Jasmine is an expect in that field, so she sent some goodies for me to try out. It's too bad you're all the way over in Utah Jasmine, as I could use some eyelashes. The brows are still holding on, but the lashes are pretty short and sparse. Which might be a good thing right now with this conjunctivitis thing going on!

Because my eyes were already bothering me when this arrived, I've yet to try it. I'm chomping at the bit to get my eyes healed so I can use it.

Kathy had contacted me last week about bringing over another dinner. After the last meal she blessed us with, I wasn't about to refuse, so we agreed on Sunday. Check out the spread she and Ashley delivered!

Spaghetti and meatballs, bread, salad with extra veggies from the garden and pizzelles. Kathy said she had to hide the pizzelles she was saving for us. Oh so good! And a bottle of wine, which I'll save to celebrate the end of chemo. Since the fog the chemo brings feels similar to having consumed 'one too many', I don't want to intensify that feeling right now.

Anne delivered a delicious dinner on Monday. We were still enjoying Kathy's dinner that day and for a lunch or two, so I'm not surprised that the food that Anne brought was still part of today's dinner. Every meal that we've been fortunate to receive has been good for at least two dinners and a lunch here and there.

 Fruit salad, green salad, banana bread, turkey and couscous. So much and so good!

Yesterday afternoon, shortly after hearing the UPS truck, I asked Gaby to check out front to see what the man in brown had left. To her surprise and mine, there was a goodie bag between the doors, from Heidi and Kait.

An assortment of snacks, cheese, crackers, apples, cookies, caramel corn and chocolate covered cherries. What a lovely and delicious surprise! Gaby claimed the popcorn.

A card from Jill was also in yesterday's mail, and my Aunt Lorette sent a card all the way from North Pender Island. Just because the mantel's full doesn't mean we're not finding a way to enjoy all of the cards and their beautiful sentiments. It's always so nice to receive them -- I'm very thankful and very blessed.

The Weekend

Quiet and uneventful.

Gaby spent Saturday with her friend Amy, swimming in this oppressive heat. Nick hung out with his friends day and evening. Marc packed for his overseas adventure. I, vegged.

I finished off the hamburger helper for breakfast yesterday (Oh if I didn't know better I'd think I was preggers!) Had a cucumber salad for lunch. The kind my Baba used to make, with sliced cukes, vinegar, sour cream, and seasoned salt. No dill and/or black pepper though. Since Nick's friends were going to be here for dinner, as well as Gab, and Marc would be gone, I ordered pizza. Good old Rosario's. A cheesesteak pizza, which I'm sure would have been much better with the onions and hot peppers. But that's for another day.

Not sure about the bone pain. Still feeling the nausea and foggy headedness. I tried one of the anti-nausea pills Friday morning, but haven't taken any since. Wednesday, I took the two different types as directed, and still felt nauseous, but who knows how I would have felt without it. All I've taken this weekend is the tylenol, and I feel better with than without it.

I've taken my temperature most every day and it's been normal or just slightly high, so nothing to worry about there.

I slept alright Saturday night, even with squirmy worm Gaby. When Marc is away, she usually sleeps with me. Even though she's a bit of a bed hog, she's a great cuddler.

This morning, Sunday, I actually made scrambled eggs with a bit of cheddar. A normal breakfast food for breakfast! V8 to go with it, which makes ketchup on my eggs unnecessary. My big plan was to try to walk this morning, hoping that would clear the fogginess that seems to linger in my head. But when I stepped outside at 7 a.m. it was 80 F, about 27 C, so I decided to use the Wii. You can watch TV and the Wii will time out a predetermined pace. I opted for 20 minutes and that was enough for my jelly legs. But it really didn't do my head any good. My friend Robin suggested mall walking and I think we might just have to try that. I think I'd feel better after doing that than steps on the Wii in my living room.

Chatted with Marc briefly on Skype this morning. Honey, I love chatting with you but I don't like when you decide to call me so that you can show someone else how Skype video works! Marc is in Zurich and I met his friend Hans and his entire family -- daughter, wife and son -- shortly after my Wii walk.  Marc was at their home for dinner, and he kept trying to coax me into better light so they could see how great the video was! I was going all vampire, trying to stay in the shadows!

Gaby was invited to spend the day with her friend Claire. She was very excited, as they've been away all last week and the girls have a lot of catching up to do. They also planned to take her with them to another neighbor's for a cookout -- even more fun.

I decided on another outing to Target. Not rain nor hail nor sleet nor chemo will keep me away from Target when the school supplies go on sale. This week:  binders! I figured I could kill two birds with one stone, since Target now carries a lot of grocery items. So besides the binders, markers, post it notes and mirror that I had promised Gab for the back of her door,  I picked up LOTS of Kozy Shack Rice Pudding, vanilla yogurt, OJ, cereal, eggos, and some oranges. A beeline to Sam's for some frozen berries and I headed home. I should mention that I love smoothies with vanilla yogurt, OJ and frozen strawberries, blueberries, etc, but the one I tried to make on Thursday tasted yucky. I'm thinking it might have been because I had no strawbs, and the yogurt was sugarfree (Marc's) So I'll try again with my 'normal' ingredients and hope that it's better this time.

I spent quite a bit of time on the phone this afternoon with my friend Nina, who's son is friend of Nick's. This November will mark her 6 year anniversary as a breast cancer survivor. We had so much to talk about. Though everyone's experience in this battle is different, there is so much the same. So much that she went through and completely understands. It's comforting. Reassuring. In many ways, not the least of which, that, 'so I'm NOT going crazy' way. Especially this nagging, foggy head/brain feeling. Like I had just one too many cocktails. But it's been the next morning and the next and the next, and it hasn't gone away.

Nina said she remembers feeling the same way. She shared the story of her neighbor going through chemo at the same time, and how different the two experienced it. Reassuring to me, as this experience hasn't been quite as textbook as was spelled out to me. Which is also another reason to document it. I probably won't remember much once it's all said and done. We like to forgot the unpleasant things!

Nina also remembered a cook book she had acquired during her chemo: Eating Well Through Cancer . She said she'd look for it and drop it off if she was able to find it.

Not only did she find it and bring it by, she also brought over a bottle of Skinny Sport Water, pink berry citrus flavour. It's chilling in the fridge right now. She had picked them up at the Shop 'n Bag this afternoon, gave me my choice of most appealing flavour, and delivered it, with the cook book, shortly after we got off of the phone. I'll let you know how it is Nina -- thanks!

My friends and family continue to call, write, email, IM, text with messages of love and support. Nary called me today, while I was at Target, to nab Gaby this afternoon, with the same intentions as Claire's family. I love hearing from everyone and it really does lift me up. It's the boost, the encouragement I need. And that I am so thankful for.

Gaby's doing a Robbins Park camp during the mornings this week, Nick has his usual Monday allergist appointment and guitar lesson, and I have an appointment with Dr. N on Tuesday and Jacki on Thursday. Marc's not back til the weekend. The forecast is for the 90's all week, nothing really under 30 C. No break in the weather. Whatever will be, will be.

Spa Treatments During Chemo

Gaby is sweet, thoughtful, considerate. Since Tuesday, she's asked me every morning how I've slept, and throughout the day checks to see how I'm feeling. (she also checks to see if I'm losing much hair yet!)
So it was really no surprise to me that she chose to stay home Friday, instead of hanging out with friends, and 'take care' of me. Spa style.

Though I had to veto any snacks, since my appetite was still impaired, and nixed the scented candles due to lingering nausea, I still enjoyed a comfortable and relaxing atmosphere. Gaby transformed her room with lighting, music (my ipod) and some mild aromatherapy.

I had to dress for the treatments:

Comfortable loungewear.

Lotions, potions and cucumbers for my eyes.

Temple rub, hand and foot rub, and a back massage.

Lucky me. And the best part?

Cuddles, snuggles and kisses.

Oh and we did share a lavender tubby after all of that. I felt AWESOME.

And loved.

The Day After Chemo and The Day After That

Have been pretty much what I was expecting. Blah!

Nurse Betty recommended that I take the Lorazepam Tuesday night, to sleep. With all of the stuff pumped into me on Tuesday, apparently I wouldn't have slept well without it. Not taking any chances, I took the pill and slept for over 8 hours. Marc said he tried to have a conversation with me around 5 a.m., but I was incoherent and don't recall a word. The drugs did their trick.

So Wednesday and Thursday have been pretty mundane. Steroids again Wednesday, anti-nausea meds all day. Regular breakfast of granola cereal and blueberries, but by lunch time I felt like nothing more than some snap peas and apples sauce. Separately, of course!

Gaby spent the afternoon with her friend Rose, Nick just hung out at home, and I had an expected visited from Nurse Lesley, with my Neulasta injection. I should also mention that Nurse Tara, who tended to me during me chemo, called on Wednesday morning, to see how I was doing. I'm feeling well taken care of.

Nurse Lesley had also called in the morning to schedule her visit, to deliver the Neulasta  and teach me how to inject it. The plan was originally for Marc to inject it, but he couldn't make it home at the appointed time, and I felt confident enough to give it a go.

And that's why there's no pictures! I was fully prepared to snap a photo of Marc administering the shot, but since it was me, first of all, I had no free hands, and secondly, the easiest place to self-inject was into my belly roll. And no one wants to see that!

She was here for about an hour, going over the paperwork, required medical history, checking my vitals, all of that stuff. She also had the practical information about the injections. That each of them costs -- gulp!! --  $3250.00. For ONE injection. And that our insurance would pay 90%. That still means that the 4 shots would be $1300 out pocket. Crazy! Though I believe we've used up most of my $1000 in network deductible and that's where our 10% would come from. It remains to be seen just how much all of this is costing. It's also interesting to see the statements from insurance company indicating the actual costs of all this treatment. Astronomical.

I also had to sign a form saying something to the effect that I would take good care of the additional dose left here to be used after my second chemo, that I wouldn't sell it, that sort of thing. If it does what it's supposed to do, it's invaluable to me, so I think I'll keep it!

There was enough of Liz's yummy chicken dinner left to feed the family. Me, I just had some rice pudding. Boring, but all I felt like eating. Reminds me of early pregnancy.

Wednesday was much the same. Since one of the anti-nausea meds causes drowsiness, that's the one that is recommended for bedtime use. I don't think it helped me sleep as much as the lorazepam, but it was effective enough. I dozed off and on once Marc got up, but didn't crawl out of bed til, oh, 10ish. Granola and fresh blueberries for breakfast, but it's not tasting as good today. I could tell right away I needed the anti-nausea meds again, so I popped one of those.

Yesterday, I was drinking mostly green tea with mint, but today I opted for ice water with lime. That seems to go down better, and I've been advised that keeping myself hydrated, especially the first days following chemo, is key to feeling better sooner.

Yesterday morning I didn't feel too bad, but by afternoon, the meds made me drowsy, and that lingered all day. So today, I stuck to the one anti-nausea pill that didn't list drowsiness as a side effect. Still feeling nauseated and just kind of out of it.  Gaby hung out with the Smith's and Jess came over to keep Nick company. I did manage to get to the post office to finally post Pier's package,  and picked up some ground beef at Joe's. To make Hamburger Helper. Gross, I know, but just like when I was pregnant with both Nick and Gaby, it's something I feel like eating. Never at any other time, but obviously it's something I can handle with my tummy in this delicate condition. Nick was rolling his eyes at me. Couldn't believe I was not only making it, but going to eat it. But it went down real good.

This 'delicate tummy' also frustated me when my friend Sue delivered a delectible London broil for dinner, with mushroom gravy, baked white and sweet potatoes with toppings for both, and delicious salad. She came back about an hour later with a forgotten dessert, Toll House Pie. Everything smelled so good, and looked so good, but I just couldn't eat right now. So frustrated, but happy that my family is well fed! All I had was the baked potatoes, but the family enjoyed everything and the kids declared that pie awesome! Thanks Sue, for taking such good care of us.

That's where I'm at two days after chemo. Just where I thought I would be.

Recovery

After waiting for a while for my doctor, who was tied up in another surgery, we left without seeing her. I was starving and craving a blueberry scone. It was almost 4:00 and I had yet to eat. We swung by Starbucks on the way home, picking up no beverages. Scones for Marc and me, an apple fritter for Nick, and chocolate covered grahams for Gaby.

Brewed a giant cup of tea, and settled onto the couch with my scone. It was gone in no time!

I think it might take me a while to recover from the anesthesia. I didn't feel tired, but couldn't keep my eyes open. Just got comfy on the couch, waiting for Marc's lasagna.

Now, Marc has always told me he can make a better lasagna than anything that's ever been put in front of him. But in our 18 years together, he's never made it for me, so I figured it was all a fairy tale. Well, after our dinner on Sunday at Bertucci's, where he once again mentioned his fabled lasagna, I suggested he pass the time while I was in surgery, making it for dinner.

And so he did. And it was delicious. I wish I had had the presence of mind to photograph it, because I don't know when we'll see it again! But he made a double recipe, so there's some for the freezer!

After dinner, it was back to the couch. I needed to take it easy as much for the post op as for the excessive amount of lasagna I had pretty much inhaled.

It's good to be home. There's no place like home.