Round Last tomorrow (and new side effects!)

I am thrilled that in approximately one week, I expect to be eating somewhat normally, driving, walking, talking, smelling, and feeling more like myself. I have noticed a true cycle, even in this short duration of chemo. I've found that I feel best towards the end of week two, as the bone pain is done, and surprisingly, fatigue isn't too much of a problem at that time. I'm most tired the 5 days following chemo and the 5 or so days before the next chemo.

The side effects I've experienced have been nausea, fogginess (for lack of a better word - a feeling akin to having one too many mojitos), constipation (due to the nausea medicine, I believe), heartburn (due to the steroids) These are my first week side effects.

Bone pain kicks in the second week due to the neulasta, but taking ibuprofen makes it bearable.

After rounds two and three, I've experienced heavy tearing of my eyes, which I intially thought was conjunctivitus, but turns out to be a side effect. That and dry eye, which I thankfully didn't experience. The tearing starts about midway through week 2, and continues right til the next chemo. It does stop for a week and some after the chemo and starts again. Now, what will make it stop after the final round?!

After round three, I've been experiencing hot flashes. Oh yeay menopause! Possibly, though I asked ME, another friend who recently defeated breast cancer, and she recalls the same thing. And she's a few years younger than me! So hopefully, it's not menopause and will be gone, with the rest of the side effects, in a few weeks. Marc is getting tired of me ripping off my sleeping cap and covers in the middle of the night, and 1/2 later covering up and groping around for the cap, only to do the same thing again later in the night. Not sure how many times it happens, but enough for him to discuss the couch as an option! Now, if this IS going to continue and is due to menopause, we're facing several years of this. Sorry honey, you know what we said about for better and for worse . . .

I forgot to mention what is almost the worse side effect for me, which is the taste of food, or lack and alteration thereof. Those first few days, even chilled bottled water, the most tasteless thing of all, just does not taste good. And it's important that I drink alot those first few days, but oh so difficult.

I just pulled out the handouts that Dr. N gave me during my first visit. Detailed informatuon about the Cytoxan and Taxotere, the two chemotherapy drugs I'd been on. I was scared to death after reading that list of side effects, even though asssurances are included that you will not get all side effects, and the odds are included. If you think about the variety of medicines we take in the modern world, we generally don't worry about the long list of side effects that accompanies them. We all KNOW we won't experience them all. But this is different.

I'm lucky I can keep food down, even though it doesn't taste good. Loss of fertility: who cares at this stage of the game! I've noticed no changed in my nails, which can sometimes range from discoloration, to losing them.

No mouth sores, No peripheral neuropathy, no fluid retention with weight gain, ankle or abdominal swelling.

But I did lose my hair. Quite rapidly. But that doesn't hurt. It was a bit uncomfortable wearing a scarf or hat during the record hot summer we had. But the extra big smiles and sympathetic looks I get are nothing but heart warming. And I've had many people share their stories of simliar battles. Making these connections is all good.

I've saved time and money on grooming. Can't complain about that.

Let's just hope that I'm not speaking too soon and that round last will be the absolute worst! I really believe that what will get me through this, besides first and foremost the love and support of all of my amazing family and friends, is the fact that it is the LAST!!

Given that it is the last, I've been up baking cookies to take tomorrow, to those wonderful people who's job it is to get me through my chemotherapy, and who do it with such grace, compassion and professionalism. Every day.

I did take my lorazepam, so I should be getting sleepy soon. It's been about an hour.

But I must close with a card that I received yesterday.

Ann handed it to me after church. I'm not always certain if I should open these on the spot or save them. Sometimes they can bring on the tears, so I usually wait.

I should have opened this one as soon as it was handed to me. While Ann added her own lovely sentiments, I laughed out loud upon opening the envelope, and even her warm words wouldn't have wiped that grin off of my face!

Check it out!!

Isn't this awesome!?

Inside it reads, "But if it sucks the cancer right out of you, then 'yay, chemo!'"

And on the back: "This card was designed by Robyn, whose mother-in-law Roxanne used both chemo and jokes to fight cancer. She thinks you'll agree that jokes are more fun."

Chemo sucks and I'll be happy to kiss it goodbye!