When we lost our beloved Abby dog almost 2 years ago, it was impossible to talk about it without shedding a puddle of tears. For at least a month or two. So I relied on the internet to share this news with friends and family, near and faraway. Cowardly? Perhaps. But living in the 21st century, it's an option I take advantage of.
And so it was when I wanted to share the news of my breast cancer diagnosis. While I can keep a secret, I'm a lousy liar. I also like to believe myself to be somewhat empathetic, and so I choose to spare my friends from having to share their initial, sometimes horrified reaction, in my presence. I know I could never hide my true emotions in the face of this kind of news. So I turn to email.
The Friday before my surgery, before Mother's Day, before the weekend of Nick's RUSH shows, I sent an email to friends and family, near and far. It was exactly 3 weeks after I had received the news of my diagnosis. I had had time to process, share with some, plot a battle plan with my doctor, and take care of a few things that I would be unable to do for a period of time following the surgery.
The first response was from my childhood friend Carla, who wrote from her blackberry. She's a teacher, so I was surprised to hear from her during the day. But she sent a lengthy message of love and support and also mentioned that her mom had been asking about me. Unbeknownst to me, my parents had requested a mass be said at church, for my health. Our childhood church, scene of our first communion together, attempts to duck out of catechism and church, of quiet rows of blue capes shoulder to shoulder in sodalilty.
I heard from friends who responded immediately, straight from the heart. Confessing to typing through tears. Friends who's work email addresses I use generated a couple of auto out of office replies. Some waited to compose their emails until they had taken the time to process the information, offering that explanation with their reply. Thanks Jen! Friends and family who were aware of my diagnosis, acknowledging my next step.I heard from friends and family who are either cancer survivors themselves, successfully keeping cancer at bay, or who have friends or family celebrating survivor anniversaries. Jay. Sandy. Full of optomism and encouragement.
But the universal message was love. Love in the offers of meals, rides, company, chores, childcare. And in the Love You's. That's how I feel too.
Jay shared a story of a friend who battled cancer in solitude, sharing it with no one but his wife, thinking he was sparing his grown children. He had the flu a lot during that time. While he beat the cancer, it came back eventually, and he survived a short period of weeks after this time sharing it with his loved ones.
My Aunt Judy's Mom beat cancer over 25 years ago, and she's still going strong at 92. My Aunt said she attributed her success to the support of her loved ones, all around her. I'm with her on that!
I am so blessed to have the love and support of so many amazing people. My friends and family. Here in PA. In Winnipeg. Vancouver. Texas and St. Adolphe! I feel safe and strong wrapped in their collective arms.
Cancer doesn't stand a chance against all this.
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